Beat Motel Zine

• Bands That Are Better as a Documentary Than to Listen To

  Ever watched a music doc and thought, “Cor, this band’s story is brilliant!” only to press play on their actual music and feel your soul quietly retreat into your ankles? This week, Andrew and co-host Dr. Sam put the needle on the record and realise some bands should’ve stayed in the cutting room.We take a scenic drive through the trainwreck glory of Milli Vanilli, the baffling existential crisis that is Metallica’s St. Anger, and the CIA’s alleged soft-rock psy-op via The Scorpions. Plus, there's a detour through the fever-dream nonsense of Brian Pern, Joan Jett’s bad reputation, and the ongoing mystery of why The Sex Pistols are still interesting despite sounding like a wasp in a tin mug.Expect spiky opinions, tight trousers, and the occasional descent into lyrical despair. And yes, there's hummus chat. Of course there is.What’s inside:Bands who are great… as a subject, not as a soundCan AI replace all pop music? (And should it?)Was Wind of Change written by the bloody CIA?Stretchy testicles and Mob Dad: Your new Cartoon Network favesCome for the music chat. Stay for the jalapeño hummus.### Riffs of the week#### Dr Sam's Riff- Barbara Dane - I Hate the Capitalist System (opening)#### Andrew's Riff- I'll pay you more if you let me watch - Crippling Alcoholism (3:40)### Dr Sam's track choices1. Milli Vanilli - Take it as it comes (opening)2. Scorpions - Loving You Sunday Morning (2.43)3. Metallica - "Shoot Me Again" (0.35)4. Joan Jett - "Bad Reputation" (0.30)### Andrew's track choices1. Bros - When will I be famous (2:09)2. Brian Pern3. Sex Pistols - Silly Thing (0:36)4. The Lurkers - Ain't got a clueEmail us - [email protected] dig music podcast - https://pod.link/wedigmusicThis is the episode with Crippling Alcoholism on it -We Dig Music - Series 8 Episode 9 - Now Playing Sept 2025 - Magdalena Bay, Crippling Alcoholism, & Ethel Cainhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-dig-music-series-8-episode-9-now-playing-sept-2025/id1246759934?i=1000728773079https://open.spotify.com/episode/0wBWpR24jRvxRKw7YL1Z8b?si=LbwRnR38RnOhOaC-09MSpg

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• Bands That Are Better as a Documentary Than to Listen To

  Ever watched a music doc and thought, “Cor, this band’s story is brilliant!” only to press play on their actual music and feel your soul quietly retreat into your ankles? This week, Andrew and co-host Dr. Sam put the needle on the record and realise some bands should’ve stayed in the cutting room.We take a scenic drive through the trainwreck glory of Milli Vanilli, the baffling existential crisis that is Metallica’s St. Anger, and the CIA’s alleged soft-rock psy-op via The Scorpions. Plus, there's a detour through the fever-dream nonsense of Brian Pern, Joan Jett’s bad reputation, and the ongoing mystery of why The Sex Pistols are still interesting despite sounding like a wasp in a tin mug.Expect spiky opinions, tight trousers, and the occasional descent into lyrical despair. And yes, there's hummus chat. Of course there is.What’s inside:Bands who are great… as a subject, not as a soundCan AI replace all pop music? (And should it?)Was Wind of Change written by the bloody CIA?Stretchy testicles and Mob Dad: Your new Cartoon Network favesCome for the music chat. Stay for the jalapeño hummus.### Riffs of the week#### Dr Sam's Riff- Barbara Dane - I Hate the Capitalist System (opening)#### Andrew's Riff- I'll pay you more if you let me watch - Crippling Alcoholism (3:40)### Dr Sam's track choices1. Milli Vanilli - Take it as it comes (opening)2. Scorpions - Loving You Sunday Morning (2.43)3. Metallica - "Shoot Me Again" (0.35)4. Joan Jett - "Bad Reputation" (0.30)### Andrew's track choices1. Bros - When will I be famous (2:09)2. Brian Pern3. Sex Pistols - Silly Thing (0:36)4. The Lurkers - Ain't got a clueEmail us - [email protected] dig music podcast - https://pod.link/wedigmusicThis is the episode with Crippling Alcoholism on it -We Dig Music - Series 8 Episode 9 - Now Playing Sept 2025 - Magdalena Bay, Crippling Alcoholism, & Ethel Cainhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-dig-music-series-8-episode-9-now-playing-sept-2025/id1246759934?i=1000728773079https://open.spotify.com/episode/0wBWpR24jRvxRKw7YL1Z8b?si=LbwRnR38RnOhOaC-09MSpg

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• Cats

  This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran’s hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he’s spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast.The theme? Cats. That’s it. Not subtle. Not deep. Just cats. From SpongeBob’s snail-pet Gary to the purring sleaze of Queen’s “Cool Cat,” we dig into feline-inspired tunes like they’re buried in a litter tray.Expect:A semi-academic breakdown of The Cure’s “Lovecats” A loving rant about Citric Dummies reviving Dr. Sam’s faith in punkThe Stray Cats (who aren’t British, but fooled us all)Psychobilly hair, ska that doesn’t suck, and why Jules Holland might secretly be a dog personA jazz track from 1931 that the BBC had to rename because it was “too rude” (spoiler: it wasn’t about a cat, but we’re pretending it was)Andrew’s website gets cyber-attacked mid-show (presumably by a Japanese feline overlord), and we waste far too much time translating song titles through every Nordic and Baltic language available. We also discover the only way to pick a cat from a rehoming café is to let it slap you in the face.It’s a mess. It’s musical. It’s got Matt Berry rubbing a snail on his face. It’s Beat Motel at its most confusingly brilliant.### Riffs of the week#### Dr Sam's Riff- Citric Dummies - I Am Your Napkin#### Andrew's Riff- vildhjarta - + byta ut alla stjärnor på himlen mot plustecken +### Dr Sam's track choices1. Spongebob - Gary's Song2. Stray Cats - Stray Cat Strut3. Queen - Cool Cat 4. Presidents of the United States of America - Kitty### Andrew's track choices1. The Cure - Love cats2. Squeeze - Cool for cats3. The Slackers - El Gato4. Harry Roy & His Bat Club Boys - My girl's pussyEmail us - [email protected]

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• Obscure Genres

  If you’ve ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you’re weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don’t matter and the cats are in charge.Expect tangents galore: from liturgical black metal to folk electronica via squee (yes, it’s a thing), this episode is a chaotic tour of sounds you probably never asked for. There’s also rants about Winamp, philosophical crises over Adam Buxton’s new album, and an alarming amount of discussion about bodily functions—human and feline.Other highlights:Discover why Primus are their own genre.Chatpile vs. Nick Cave (don’t @ us).The truth about the Super Mario cartoon theme.What happens when cats demand mid-podcast poo patrol.Childhood trauma via 70s UK sitcoms and cartoons.So, whether you’re sickening for a new genre or just want to hear two middle-aged blokes descend into sonic madness, this episode will either enlighten or deeply confuse you. Either way, you’ll come out the other end feeling like you’ve learned something. Probably.### Riffs of the week#### Dr Sam's Riff- Adam Buxton - Doing it Wrong (0.18)#### Andrew's Riff- Chatpile - Shame (2:24)### Dr Sam's track choices1. Primus - Restin' Bones (2.13)2. Ana Lua Caiano - Ando Em Círculos (opening)3. Thomas Ignatius - Sum qui sum (1.00)4. Super Mario Rap (0.2)### Andrew's track choices1. Suicide - Ghost Rider (1:24) - No Wave2. Eero Johannes - We Could Be Skweeeroes - Skweee3. Batushka - Yekteniya I - Liturgical Black Metal4. Phace - Hot Rock - NeurofunkEmail us - [email protected]

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• Back to School

  In this nostalgia-drenched episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and voiceover man extraordinaire Martin Whiskin hurl themselves headfirst into the deep, murky swimming pool of school memories—and promptly slip on a Verucca sock.Expect less of a structured discussion and more of a chaotic ramble through:Drinking out of pickle jars, Nutella jars, and possibly things we shouldn’t mention.Childhood trauma via public service announcements that were more “accidental snuff film” than “safety first.”Rollerskating on dodgem floors, fights over tractors, and smoking on tractors.The weird tribal warfare between grunge kids and ravers (spoiler: bomber jackets were tactical gear).And yes, a deep dive into why the f**k “Funkytown” played on a school jukebox every single day.We also spin some musical back-to-school picks, featuring the Replacements, Pop Will Eat Itself, Ramones, Red Hot Chili Peppers (Martin is very sorry), Despond, and Ganja Kru. There’s even a serious attempt to connect jungle music to GCSE coursework. God help us.Plus: We try to remember what Grange Hill was called, and forget everything else in the process.This one’s for the misfits at the back of the classroom. Probably the only podcast episode where you’ll hear the A-Team theme, tales of aristocratic mastering engineers, and the sentence: “Did your mum ever bring home 200 dead man’s harmonicas?”#### Marf's Riff- Despondent - Confined#### Andrew's Riff- Blackbraid - And he become the burning stars### Marf's track choices1. Pop Will Eat Itself - Karmadrome2. The A-Team TV Theme Tune3. Red Hot Chili Peppers - They're Red Hot4. Super Sharp Shooter - The Ganja Kru### Andrew's track choices1. The Replacements - Fuck School2. Ski Sunday theme tune3. The Ramones - Rock and roll high school4. Lipps Inc. - FunkytownEmail us - [email protected]

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