Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak

This week the hags are away and bringing you a favorite from the Poog archive: A Zero Involved.
A masseuse in Kate’s home reminds her of the necessity of addressing the angels and eating pears. New blocks are located, while Jacqueline scrambles pancakes. What else does one put in a dishwasher? Phone call avoidance and the myths of protein. The hours you’re asleep still count, but where does it start? A math lesson leaves Kate feeling seen.

Poog is at the doctor’s office this week, as Kate visualizes her partner and mother for safety during a neck angio CT scan. Jacqueline is at the hotel she never has to check out of — her parents’ house. The idea of a single tit when the robe opens. Is the valet not fundamentally validated? The stench of B vitamins, the presence of a mini fridge, and a drink likely pulled from a barrel. Kate tries an old lip stain while her daughters sleep over at Sephora. Stand up to blend in. Jacqueline evokes the alienated figure with thoughts of working out at her mom and dad’s gym. A mosquito bite makes summer official and there will be no caffeine past noon. Poor girl.

Are you aware that your site is down? Jacqueline calls in from her Toronto tour stop and the meds are running out, while Kate is podcasting from the neighborhood fishbowl. Eating in front of the TV, coffee tables and cold cream. The hags map out a year in Spain... but has it been Canada the whole time? Always a buyer, never a seller. Jacqueline explains how to wash underwear in a Nespresso machine. The saga of gel manicures and Storage Wars. Kate decants for a dirty day and takes a long walk to a little weed shop. Planetary talk and stage sweat. Jacqueline reacts to an update on Jerry Maguire. You can’t put a price on peace of mind.

The nectarines were not ripe, nor were the figs sweet. Recent weeks have seen the hags confronted with uncharmable doctors and unruly hecklers. Jacqueline recounts stories from her day job at the FBI and Kate’s full-body scan results are in. Illness, the corner restaurant and a double date to The Odyssey. Sometimes the doctor agrees with your diagnosis.

This week on Poog, we're bringing you another round of the hags' most formative moments: Jacqueline teaches Kate the Pallbearer Shuffle. The uppermost Pringle is considered. Shopping in Target before a cameo on Bonks That Kill. A technique for social media moderation is proposed. Jacqueline sings a little ditty about Jack and Diane, while Kate’s LAX uber gets stolen by a Brody Jenner look-alike.