Don’t Scare the Newbies!

BDSM model and author Ariel Anderssen (who is also kirizal's sister!) - joins U/us on the podcast this week. She shares her story of overcoming shame from a Jehovah's Witness upbringing and healing from abuse, discovering kink in the time before Fetlife, and stories from her long and impressive career. Plus - feminism and kink, kink community outside the munch and play event scene, and the impact of increasing censorship on the adult industry.
Content Note: Discussion of religious shame and the impact of child abuse
Ariel's new book, Dirty, is coming in early June. It's now fully funded, and you can find more information here: https://www.arielanderssenauthor.com/dirty
Follow Ariel on Substack: https://arielanderssen.substack.com/
Follow Ariel on X (NSFW Images): https://x.com/ArielAnderssen
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, S takes the lead with Their first time writing the episode outline (exciting!) as W/we tackle the topic of long distance relationships. While kirizal has never dated further than a couple of counties over, S spent three years in a relationship at a distance of 4000 miles. Covering the joy and creativity of long distance love, the challenges of supporting a partner when you can’t just pop over for a hug, how sex works when you rely on a phone line and a bluetooth connection, and navigating discipline and structure in power exchange when a submissive is unsupervised. And kirizal asks the hard hitting question - did S take dick pics?
Thanks to S’s ex partner for her behind the scenes perspective which was really valuable in shaping this episode!
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

This week, Lydia - founder of luxury bondage brand Kilter - joins kirizal and S to put the Business Development, Sales, and Marketing into BDSM. W/we chat about the challenges of promoting adult businesses on social media, the realities of starting a BDSM brand, her dad’s enthusiasm for her business, and life as a kinky lesbian.
Find more of Lydia at:
https://bykilter.com/
https://www.subtlebond.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lydiacoulter_
https://www.tiktok.com/@lydiacoulter__
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

In this episode, Mx and kirizal dig into shame, objectification, worthlessness, and all the messy emotions of degradation and humiliation. How these kinks can enhance O/our play, why they turn U/us on, and a deep dive into trauma play, body shaming, verbal degradation and humiliation, and "the umbrella of gross kinks". Plus - kirizal's journey into emotional masochism, negotiation and aftercare skills, and Mx discovers that kirizal doesn't know how to burp.
Content Note: This episode covers some heavy topics and common 'icks' throughout, in detail. Misogynistic and fatphobic language, mentions of transphobia play, child abuse, and CNC. More detailed discussion of bodily fluids including spit, vomit, piss, and scat, as well as body image, dysmorphia, and weight loss.
For more education on emotional sadomasochism, W/we recommend Vahavta whose work can be found at kinkbeyondlimits.com
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies

Enthusiastic findom newbies kirizal and S dive into the controversial subject of playing with money. W/we chat about the politics of playing with the power of capitalism, the taboo of talking about money in relationships, and why financial domination carries so much stigma and shame. Plus - ethics and safety, the symbolism and meaning behind giving and receiving money, and how findom works for U/us in the context of an ongoing and intimate relationship.
Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal.com
Support U/us on Patreon at patreon.com/dontscarethenewbies
LAST CHANCE - Voting closes 2nd April, so if you haven’t please vote for U/us in The Alternative Awards by liking this Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/DTdI0ZZDGlw/?igsh=bDhweDh6aDl1MW45