In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal.

Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity.

Topics discussed:
• Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiences

Follow Niki:Instagram: @missbloomsexeducator
Website: www.nikidavisf.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa
Book a call: https://www.sexwithalexa.co/book-online

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between.

Topics discussed:
Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.
Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.
They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.
The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.
Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection. 
They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction.

Follow Dr. Sophocles:Instagram: @mariasophoclesmd
Website: www.mariasophoclesmd.com

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2638-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Jill Lissner, aka @sexedprincesss, forconversation about performative sex, pleasure, body image, consent, communication, and the weird sex trends taking over the internet.

Topics covered:
Performative sex and what it means
Pleasure vs. performance
Authentic/non-performative sex
Gendered expectations around appearance
Penis size, erections and stamina
Moaning and performing sounds
Staying quiet because of shame or expectations
Soft penises and body acceptance
Decentering penetration
Mutual masturbation and vulnerability
Porn as a performance
Being perceived and worrying how you look
Likeability, acceptance and social performance
Reducing performance anxiety through exposure
“Spectatoring” during sex
Advocating for your needs during sex
Defaulting to giving as a performance
Preference vs. performance
Orgasm faces
“Cracked” and modern sexual terminology
Active participation in sex
Riding/on-top positions and performing for appearance
Recording sexual experiences
Penetration as a performance expectation
Critical thinking about sexual norms
Internet sex trends
Ball maxing/scrotum maxing
Scrotum size and attraction
How sexual trends spread online
The need for more scientific research on emerging sex trends

Follow Jill:Instagram: @sexedprincesss

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about.

In this episode:
Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-ons
Hands, feet, scent and other physical turn-ons
Acts of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn ons
Appreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connected
Boundary talks before professional collaborations
Reading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the moment
Sexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiative
Confidence vs. competence
Why competence may be more attractive than confidence
Humility, ego and letting actions speak for themselves
Sexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”
Small Hands' first gangbang and early experiences in porn
CNC (consensual non-consent) fantasies
Dark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safety
Kink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interests
Reclaiming autonomy through fantasy
The unexpected origins of a foot fetish
What “rough sex” actually means
Physical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sex
Why rough sex requires context, intent and communication
Rough sex vs. disrespect
Consent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kink
Choking and assuming a partner wants it
Hot ways of checking in during sex 
Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behavior
Trust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasies
Small Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sex

Follow Aaron:
Instagram: @thesmallhands_

Follow Alexa Andre:
Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure, preparation, and all the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask.

Topics discussed in this episode:
Anal pleasure and breaking down taboos and myths
Exploring anal stimulation for the first time
The P-spot/prostate and prostate orgasms
The A-spot and anal pleasure for women
Topping vs. bottoming
Why tops should understand anal anatomy
Anal foreplay and gradual penetration
The three sphincter muscles
Breathing, relaxation and communication
Pain, bleeding and discomfort during anal sex
Lube and why anal sex differs from vaginal sex
Penis size, thickness and anatomy
Mushroom-shaped penises and preparation
Bad first anal experiences
Self-exploration and masturbation
Pressure vs. in-and-out stimulation
Riding and controlling penetration
Dilators and gradual anal training
Anatomy vs. psychological/neurological factors
Bleeding, tightness and when to seek medical care
Poop during anal sex
Shame and anxiety around cleanliness
Douching and over-douching
Gut health, fiber and diet
Prebiotics and probiotics
Food and how diet can affect anal sex
Condoms and anal sex
PrEP and DoxyPEP
The “toy test” after douching
Hemorrhoids and what they actually are
Fissures and skin tags
Pegging and strap-on play
Prostate massage and prostate milking
Edging and gooning
Anal Botox and pelvic floor physical therapy
Butt facials
Butt acne, ingrown hairs and hair removal
Wet wipes and anal irritation
Bidets and portable bidets
Toilet paper vs. water-based cleaning
Evan's work with Bespoke Surgical and Future Method

Follow Dr. G:Instagram: @drevangoldstein | @bespokesurgical | @thefuturemethod
Website and more: Bespoke Surgical

Follow Alexa Andre:Instagram: @sexwithalexa
Patreon: https://patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sponsor:
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beduc.at/pd2633-alexa