Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

This week I'm answering a question from Doby, a mom of four boys, as a follow-up to our recent episode on tattling. She wants to know how to handle tattling when her kids are different ages: should consequences be the same or tailored to each child, and should both kids be held responsible when only one tattles? I walk through both approaches, including how to scale a consequence by age and how to use each child's "currency" so it actually lands.
Doby also tells me about her 7-year-old, who is sensitive, rigid, and anxious and who constantly finds fault with his easygoing 4-year-old brother, tattles, and provokes him into breaking rules. We talk about what birth order may be adding to the picture: an oldest child who has been "dethroned" three times, the pressure that falls on oldest kids, and the natural rivalry between same-sex siblings close in age. Then I give her a practical plan for helping him feel more secure, including why encouragement works better than praise and the exact kinds of "you" statements to use that build a stronger sense of self.
Episode Reference:
Richardson, R. W., & Richardson, L. A. (2000). Birth order & you: Discover how your sex and position in the family affects your personality, career, relationships, and parenting. Self-Counsel Press.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I share an experience from a recent flight that reminded me how easy it is for parents to focus on a child's behavior while missing what the child is actually trying to communicate. I watched a young child become increasingly upset as his attempts to communicate were repeatedly ignored until his behavior escalated. It was a powerful reminder that whining, crying, and tantrums are often not the real problem—they can be the result of a child feeling unheard, misunderstood, or powerless.
I talk about how simple child-centered parenting skills like acknowledging what a child is saying, reflecting their feelings, setting a calm limit, and offering an appropriate choice can completely change these interactions. We can't always give our children what they want, but we can make sure they know their thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter. Sometimes the moments when we are most frustrated with our children are exactly the moments when they most need us to come down to their level and meet them where they are.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose six-year-old can be cooperative one minute and completely defiant the next. I explain why behavior like refusing to get in the car, undoing something positive after being praised, or digging in when asked to do something is often less about "bad behavior" and more about a child's need for power and control. When we understand what is driving the behavior, we can respond differently instead of getting pulled into the power struggle.
I also share how intentional choice giving can help children feel more empowered throughout the day, even when the actual expectation is not negotiable. I walk through what that can look like in a real-life situation like getting into the car, why staying calm and neutral matters, and why encouragement is more helpful than praise when we want children to develop confidence, responsibility, and internal motivation.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose 3- and 5-year-old children are constantly tattling on each other over every little thing. I explain why telling young children to "work it out" usually doesn't work—they simply don't have the developmental capacity yet to reason through sibling conflict on their own. Instead, I share how parents can use clear, consistent choices to help children begin developing self-control and responsibility without turning Mom or Dad into the household referee.
I also talk about the importance of keeping consequences immediate and age-appropriate, especially with very young children, and why the parent's tone matters just as much as the limit itself. The goal is not to punish children for tattling, but to help them learn that their choices have outcomes and that they can begin taking more responsibility for how they handle minor sibling conflicts.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.

In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose 7- and 9-year-old daughters are experiencing significant anxiety around going to school. We talk about the difference between choosing homeschooling because it genuinely fits a child better versus using homeschooling to avoid an anxiety-producing situation, and why that distinction matters. I also explain how anxiety can show up physically through things like stomachaches or behaviorally through crying, clinging, and refusing to enter school, and how those patterns can grow over time if the underlying fear isn't addressed.
I also talk about the importance of involving anxious children in major decisions that affect them. Kids with anxiety tend to do better with predictability, clear expectations, and some sense of control, so whether a family chooses traditional school, homeschooling, or a hybrid option, communication and buy-in matter. The goal is not simply to eliminate discomfort, but to make a thoughtful decision about what environment will help the child thrive while also addressing the anxiety itself.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place.
https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids
https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless:
https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.