Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:"When elephants fight, it's the grass that suffers." This African proverb stopped me mid-scroll during a walk, and I saw my family's addiction story with some pretty painful clarity. While my ex-husband, husband and I stomped around trying to wage war on our son's substance use and high-risk lifestyle, we completely missed who was getting trampled beneath our giant, well-meaning feet.This week's raw and honest solo episode unpacks the heavyweight champion of family conflicts: parents locked in battle over how to handle their child's substance use. I reflect about missing my younger son Marco's quiet suffering (spoiler: he mastered invisibility to survive our chaos), and you'll hear how our struggling kids internalize parental discord as proof they're destroying the family. You'll hear why treating addiction like toothpaste you can force back in the tube only creates more destruction, and how shifting from head-on combat to clay-shaping might just save your entire family ecosystem. (lots of metaphors in this week's show!)Fortunately, the Invitation to Change Approach offers a roadmap for stepping more carefully through crisis - because your other children, parents, friends, and even your struggling child deserve better than getting flattened while you fight about tough love versus cushioning falls.What you'll learn:Why siblings of struggling kids often perfect the art of being "not as bad" - and the long-term cost of that survival strategyHow late-night battles between parents may send dangerous "I'm the problem" messages to your struggling childThe critical shift from manager to consultant when your child hits adulthood (and why this transition can spark explosive co-parenting conflicts)Why approaching addiction like malleable clay instead of a winnable war creates healing space for everyoneSpecific ways to acknowledge and tend to the "trampled grass" in your family this weekEPISODE RESOURCES:Hopestream podcast episode with Marco Narcsio, (#70)This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityGet our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership hereLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereWatch the podcast on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:When your journey with a child's substance use stretches into its second decade, you enter what we loving call "warrior mom" (or parent) territory – a place where endurance meets wisdom, and self-preservation becomes an art form. Today's conversation with Hopestream co-founder, Cathy, honors these battle-tested parents who've been navigating their adult children's challenges for ten, fifteen, even twenty years or more.This isn't an advice-filled episode - because more advice isn't what you need. It's a raw, honest dialogue between two mothers who know the unique terrain of loving a child through active use, high-risk lifestyles, homelessness, incarceration, and the revolving door of recovery and relapse. Cathy shares her own marathon story, including driving hundreds of miles to share picnics with her daughter – a simple act of presence that seemed insignificant (and ineffective) at the time but later proved transformative. You'll hear:Why "handing over a shift" to a higher power becomes essential for sustainable parenting through decades of struggleHow warrior parents navigate the delicate dance of support versus enabling when adult children face eviction, homelessness, or legal troublesThe unexpected and seemingly counterintuitive renewal that comes from serving othersWhy those seemingly fruitless gestures of connection (like Cathy's picnics) create an energetic contract that transcends the immediate momentThe liberating truth about our children's remarkable resourcefulness when stability disappears and traditional safety nets failThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityGet our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership hereLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereWatch the podcast on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:When Jan Winhall landed her first job running a group for incest survivors in a psychiatric ward, she discovered something revolutionary: the young women's self-harming behaviors weren't signs of pathology – they were brilliant survival strategies orchestrated by dysregulated nervous systems. This revelation launched a 45-year journey that would transform how we understand trauma and addiction.Today, Jan brings her Felt Sense Polyvagal Model to parents navigating the bewildering landscape of their child's substance use. Her approach flips traditional treatment on its head: rather than analyzing thoughts and willpower, she teaches us to decode the body's wisdom.Your child's behaviors – the ones that terrify you most – might actually be their nervous system's desperate attempt to regulate between hyper-vigilance and shutdown. Jan's work reveals why true healing happens not through confrontation or consequences, but through co-regulation, physical connection, and understanding the body's protective mechanisms.You'll learn:• Why your child's "crazy" behaviors (cutting, bingeing, substance use) are actually sophisticated nervous system regulation strategies that shift them between states of survival• How to become a co-regulating presence for your dysregulated child through physical touch, synchronized breathing, and embodied connection – even when they're pushing you away• The critical difference between "bottom-up" body-based healing and traditional "top-down" cognitive approaches – and why talk therapy alone often fails with trauma and addiction• Simple daily practices (like extending your exhale or humming) that activate your ventral vagus nerve, creating the safety your child's nervous system desperately seeksEPISODE RESOURCES:Janwinhall.com - Jan’s website (find a practitioner)Jan Winhall's YouTube channelFriendly Circle BerlinUnplugged CanadaArial Schwartz - Resilience Informed TherapyThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityGet our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership hereLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereWatch the podcast on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:When your child's struggles shatter every paradigm you've held about communication, consciousness, and connection, where do you turn? Today's guest, Betsy Hicks-Russ, found herself navigating this exact terrain as the mother of Joey, a 32-year-old non-speaking autistic man whose journey would ultimately revolutionize her understanding of human potential. Through her discovery of The Telepathy Tapes—a groundbreaking podcast documenting telepathic abilities in non-speaking individuals—Betsy's world transformed from one of perceived limitations to infinite possibilities.Now, while you may not think this episode seems relevant to families navigating substance use challenges, the parallels are more profound than you'd imagine. Both journeys involve watching your child exist in what appears to be an unreachable state, questioning expert opinions that don't align with your intuition, and discovering that behaviors we label as "problems" might actually be sophisticated attempts at regulation and connection. Whether your child is non-speaking or struggling with substances, the path forward often requires releasing control, working on your own healing, and trusting that beneath the visible challenges lies a soul seeking authentic connection—just perhaps through unconventional channels.In this truly riveting conversation, Betsy shares the profound shift that occurred when she learned her son wasn't trapped in silence but was actually part of what she calls "the telepathic tribe"—individuals who communicate through frequency rather than words. Her evolution from believing experts who said Joey "wasn't there" to recognizing him as a spiritually advanced being holding space for humanity's awakening offers a radical reframe for how we perceive our children's challenges. This isn't just about autism or telepathy—it's about the courage to question everything you've been told about your child's capabilities and to trust the deeper knowing that whispers beneath conventional wisdom. Get ready to have your mind blown. EPISODE RESOURCES:Autism Odyssey - Betsy’s nonprofit organizationThe Telepathy Tapes podcastBetsty on: TikTok, Instagram, YouTubeThis podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityGet our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership hereLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereWatch the podcast on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE: There's a certain shift that occurs when you stop charging at your child's substance use and instead learn to back in quietly, treats in hand, like Rocky Kanaka (Sitting With Dogs) approaching a terrified shelter dog. In this conversation with Cathy, you'll discover how this counterintuitive approach, born from watching a man give positive affirmations to traumatized pit bulls, might actually hold the key to reconnecting with your own frightened, defensive teenager. (you have to listen now, right?!)Your child, barricaded behind substance use and sending desperate signals that "all is not okay," shares more with those cornered shelter dogs than you might want to admit. They're both scared, hurting, expecting another confrontation. Cathy's vulnerable admission—that she never found the words "Wow, I hear you. How can I help you?"—illuminates the cognitive friction so many parents experience when their instinct to fix collides with their child's need to simply be witnessed.What you’ll learn:Why hours spent researching treatment centers might be less effective than learning to sit quietly with your child's discomfortHow holding boundaries actually signals to your child that you're willing to fight for them (even when they're furious)The strategic choreography of "backing in" versus coming at your child head-on with aggression and defensive body languageWhy starting with small boundaries—perhaps not even with your substance-using child—builds the mental fortitude for more significant onesThe liberating realization that a pissed-off kid is infinitely preferable to the alternativeCathy and I map the delicate territory between “jellyfish parenting” and authoritarian rigidity, where boundaries become acts of love and your willingness to endure discomfort becomes its own form of medicine. EPISODE RESOURCES: Hopestream episode 215: A Powerful Combo of Proven Tools for Families When Your Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol, with Dr. Jennifer Fernandez (why people use a particular substance) Sitting With Dogs on YouTube This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityGet our free, 4-video course, Hope Starts Here, and access to our Limited Membership hereLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereWatch the podcast on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.