The School of Life

It’s natural for most of us to spend time descending into worry about our reputation: what if we are accused of something, what if we are ostracised, mocked and cancelled? A useful way out of the panic was suggested many centuries ago by the Stoic thinkers of Ancient Greece and Rome.

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“It’s natural for most of us to spend time worrying about our reputation: what others think of us, whether we are deemed good or bad by the community…

This can quickly become a painful topic, and our thoughts can descend into bonfires of worry: what if we are accused of something, what if we are ostracised and mocked, what about if we become a pariah?

A useful way out of the panic was suggested many centuries ago by the Stoic thinkers of Ancient Greece and Rome. They suggested that we divide the topic of reputation into two.

On the one hand, who we are and what we think of ourselves.

And on the other: what other people may decide to declare or say about us.”

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Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood.Uploaded 07-10-20Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/BI2SnBe more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/hAkFqFURTHER READINGYou can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3iDqELt“Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully want to leave a job in finance in order to retrain in architecture – but at the same time, remain blocked by a range of doubts, hesitations, counter-arguments and guilty feelings. Or we might be impelled to leave our marriage – while simultaneously unable to imagine any realistic life outside it. To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is killing us as well. Every avenue appears shut off. And so one ruminates, turns over the question late at night, tries the patience of therapists – and watches life go by with mounting anxiety and self-disgust…”MORE SCHOOL OF LIFEWatch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLselfSOCIAL MEDIAFeel free to follow us at the links below:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITSProduced in collaboration with:Julia Marchowskahttps://www.juliamarchowska.com/animation Title animation produced in collaboration withVale Productionshttps://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Nous sommes à Paris! Nous proposons d'explorer avec vous les grandes questions de la vie. Nous n'avons pas toutes les réponses, mais nous explorerons ensemble des idées inspirées par l'art, la littérature, la philosophie, la psychologie, qui devraient vous stimuler, vous consoler, vous nourrir et vous provoquer. Venez nous voir ici: http://www.theschooloflife.com/paris

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The most fundamental idea at the heart of modern psychotherapy is that in order to heal ourselves from our neuroses in the present, we have to understand what went on in our childhoods.

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The most fundamental idea at the heart of modern psychotherapy is that in order to heal ourselves from our neuroses in the present, we have to understand what went on in our childhoods.

Though this thesis makes impeccable theoretical sense, there is one enormous problem with it: amnesia. Simply put, almost no adult remembers a single thing that happened to them before they were three years old: countless days and nights, a succession of complicated moods, sensations and events will have vanished into thin air, like a library of precious books that is sent up in smoke or dumped unceremoniously into the sea. Furthermore, most of us remember very little of what went on before we were seven. This may seem like an obvious point, but it has momentous implications. A period that we’ve identified as extremely central is also going to be entirely nebulous…

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