WTF is on my Mind?!

I found Nick Pollard, known online as 'The People Displeaser,' through his Instagram reels, and three days later we were recording this conversation. Nick is a coach and recovering people pleaser who survived a brutal childhood, three divorces, and an addiction that nearly killed him. He came out the other side with ideas that a lot of people find hard to hear.

We talk about how people-pleasing quietly turns into resentment, why he calls it "little bottles of rage," and why the explosion almost always lands on someone you love. We get into why he doesn't buy the word "empath," what he saw after walking out of rehab and straight onto its staff, and why he thinks a lot of coaches need to stay in their lane. I also push him on the question I keep running into with my own audience: where does taking responsibility for your life end, and where does victim blaming begin?

Nick also shares why Narcissist's Playbook hit him so hard, and what it showed him about his own past relationships.

Nick's Instagram: @thepeopledispleaser
Book: I Hope You Hate This, out January 26, 2027. Pre-order at www.ihopeyouhatethis.com

Narcissist's Playbook Screenings
Washington, D.C.: Free screening, Sunday, October 25, Sylvan Theater, National Mall
Want to join the D.C. street team? Email outreach@narcissistsplaybook.com
Cape Town, South Africa: Late November. Details coming soon.
More U.S. screenings in December, with Europe and Australia planned for early 2027.
Rent the film: www.NarcissistsPlaybook.com

Patreon
Behind-the-scenes footage from my trip back to Albany, New York, plus the conversations I don't have publicly: www.patreon.com/markvicente
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The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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This one is personal.

When I was waking up from NXIVM, Raniere and the people around him were turning on my wife Bonnie and trying to destroy our marriage. At one point she asked me where she stood in all of it. I checked in with myself, deeply, and I gave her my answer. The cult saw that answer as weakness.

Last week in New York, someone asked me about that moment on a podcast, and it brought back something I had completely forgotten. In the 90s I read a book called "The Nine Faces of Christ" by Eugene Whitworth. It moved me so much that I wanted to make a film of it. Near the end, the main character faces a final test in an Egyptian mystery school: to move on, he has to give up the woman he loves. What he chooses, and what happens next, has stayed with me for decades. I just didn't realize how closely it mirrored my own choice until now.

In this episode I talk about:
- The moment Bonnie asked me where my loyalty was
- How NXIVM turned my answer into a story about me having no backbone
- The story of "The Nine Faces of Christ" and why it hit me so hard
- Why sometimes the only way to pass the test is to fail it
- Going back to Albany, and what I noticed about how I used to feel there
- Choosing love, life and presence over ideology

NARCISSIST'S PLAYBOOK IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
We're screening the film on October 25th. Details and sign up: here: https://narcissistsplaybook.uscreen.io/pages/filmscreenings

MY ALBANY VLOG
I walked around the old stomping grounds and recorded my thoughts. It's up on Patreon: www.patreon.com/markvicente

Stay curious.
Support the show
The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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You're sure you know who the enemy is. You've seen the evidence. You've read the comments. But what if the fight itself is the product?

In NXIVM, Raniere kept us busy fighting each other so none of us looked up at what he was doing. I'm watching the same pattern play out on a massive scale, and most people are too inflamed to notice. So I want to ask you a question I think very few people are asking right now: who benefits when you hate the other side?

And if the answer makes you uncomfortable, what do you actually do about it? I have a thought on the antidote. I'd love to hear yours in the comments.

🎟 Nashville screening of Narcissist's Playbook with Evan Rachel Wood, Sept 22: https://www.belcourt.org/events/rental-screening-narcissists-playbook/
🎬 Rent the film anytime: http://www.narcissistsplaybook.com
📩 Know a journalist or outlet who should cover the film? outreach@narcissistsplaybook.com
🎧 My earlier episode on narcissistic triangulation: https://youtu.be/jdlrfn7V22Q
🎧 My interview with A Little Bit Culty:
Part 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-little-bit-culty/id1553334816?i=1000789536099
Part 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-little-bit-culty/id1553334816?i=1000789541029

Stay curious.
Support the show
The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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For thirteen episodes, you've heard from the people Bentinho Massaro did this to. This episode is different. Carol Merchasin isn't a survivor, she's a lawyer, and some people call her 'The Cult Assassin.'

If this conversation resonates, watch my documentary on narcissistic abuse, 'Narcissist's Playbook: Empathy Not Included'  www.narcissistsplaybook.com

Carol Merchasin is an attorney and advocate on coercive control and high-demand groups, and the founder of a litigation practice devoted to sexual abuse, trafficking, and coercive control cases against these organizations. She previously spent years as a partner at Morgan, Lewis, investigating sexual misconduct inside Fortune 50 companies. She's now president of the Board of the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA):
www.internationalculticstudies.org

In this conversation, Carol and I get into what coercion actually looks like when there's no physical force involved: the isolation, the indoctrination, the slow process of cutting someone off from every outside voice that could tell them something is wrong. We talk about why "why didn't you leave" is the wrong question, and why "it could never happen to me" is the most dangerous thing anyone can believe about themselves. Carol also walks through the legal side most people never hear: how a case like this actually gets built, what the Trafficking Act has to do with coercive control that never involves physical force, and why the NXIVM case set a precedent that keeps getting built on every time a new case reaches a courtroom. These organizations act like they're untouchable. They're not, and this episode is about exactly why.
Support the show
The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
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This is a crossover episode between WTF Is on My Mind and Remember Your Greatness. 
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/remember-your-greatness-with-mark-vicente/id1838356198

People have watched me go from What the Bleep Do We Know?! to Narcissism, Cults, and Dark Psychology, and some have asked what the two have to do with each other. This episode is my answer.

Narcissism is, in essence, the ego gone completely out of control. Spiritual and philosophical traditions have talked about the true self versus the false self for centuries, and I think Narcissistic Personality Disorder shows us exactly what happens when that false self becomes so disconnected from reality that it takes over completely.

In this episode I talk about:

- The difference between the false self we construct and the true self that feels more constant and eternal
- The "I AM" state, and what happens when people touch that place of pure presence
- How our thoughts can become completely detached from reality when we mistake them for our identity
- Why communal narcissism can look like altruism and care when it is actually feeding a false sense of self
- Keith Raniere's use of the word "pride," and why disabling healthy ego makes people easier to control
- Why trying to destroy the ego is just another ego trip, and why that approach backfires
- What cult leaders reveal about this pattern taken to its extreme

Narcissism is a warning signal for what happens when we become spiritually dysregulated. Understanding it is not just about spotting it in other people. It is about understanding the same mechanism in ourselves.

If this resonates with you, check out Narcissist's Playbook, our documentary featuring Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Dr. Heather Berlin, Richard Grannon, Evan Rachel Wood and a host of self-confessed narcissists, available to rent at NarcissistsPlaybook.uscreen.io

As always, stay curious.
Support the show
The views and opinions expressed by guests on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicente
Website: www.markvicente.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/
X: https://x.com/markvicente
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicente
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/