HERself

Have you ever found yourself taking your child’s behavior personally, getting defensive, or reacting in a way you wish you could take back? Today, we’re talking about how the Gottman Institute’s Four Horsemen of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling can show up in our parenting, why our kids’ emotional development means we have to take the lead when it comes to navigating conflict, and how much they learn from the way we handle hard moments. We’re not going to get it right every time, but becoming more aware of our patterns can help us model healthier communication, repair, and relationships for our kids.
Key Topics Covered
Why criticism can feel like an attack or humiliation to a child
How to tell the difference between taking a break and stonewalling
Why self-regulation has to come before trying to coach your child through a conflict
How to soften the start-up and communicate your feelings more clearly
The importance of taking responsibility and modeling a genuine apology

LINKS AND RESOURCES:
AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u

MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/ 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

We’re so excited to welcome Dr. Marisa Franco back to the podcast for the third time to talk about something so many of us struggle with: feeling worthy. We’re diving into why simply telling ourselves to “love ourselves” doesn’t always work, how our past experiences continue to shape the way we see ourselves today, and what it can look like to meet ourselves with more understanding instead of trying to force ourselves to feel differently. We also talk about how our own self-worth impacts the way we show up for our kids and how we can help the next generation build a healthier relationship with themselves.

Key Topics Covered
Why insecurity can actually be an adaptive response
How attachment theory can become another form of perfectionism
Why some people struggle to receive compliments
The connection between self-worth, memories, and our emotional responses
How to recognize, regulate, and respond to difficult emotions

CONNECT WITH DR. MARISA FRANCO:

Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco 

Check out her website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/ 

Pre-order Marisa’s new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment here: https://amzlink.to/az0RRIqPA4gxb

Listen to her past episodes on HERself: 

59. The Challenge and Triumphs of Adult Friendships https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000505703230 

314. Attachment Styles in Adult Friendships https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000739104904 

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

SITKA SEAFOOD: Visit https://sitkaseafoodmarket.com/pages/herself for $35 Off + free salmon burgers for a year with a continuous subscription. The code HERSELF25 should auto-apply when using this link

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

What do you do when you and your partner keep having the same fight over and over again? Learning how to navigate those gridlocked arguments can help you stop spinning your wheels and start finding a way forward, even when you don’t see eye to eye. Today, we’re breaking down practical ways to approach these recurring disagreements, including how to look beneath the surface of the argument, stay connected when you don’t agree, and find a livable solution together. Because sometimes the goal isn’t to finally agree, but to learn how to handle the disagreement in a healthier way.

Key Topics Covered:

Why some relationship conflicts are unsolvable
How childhood experiences can shape the way we handle conflict
Why vulnerability can help you break out of a cycle of defensiveness
How to find common ground when you disagree
What to do when pushing for a solution isn’t working

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, but it's rarely about the money itself. This week, we unpack why couples get stuck in the same financial arguments, how our childhood experiences and money beliefs shape the way we spend and save, and what it really takes to get on the same page with your partner. We also share practical ways to have healthier money conversations, better understand each other's financial habits, and build a stronger partnership instead of keeping score.

Key Topics Covered:
The four common money personalities and how they influence financial decisions
Why regular money check-ins help couples stay connected and avoid resentment
How financial anxiety can show up as overspending, oversaving, or avoiding money altogether
The impact of lifestyle creep, comparison, and keeping score in a relationship
Four simple questions to uncover your own money beliefs and start better conversations with your partner

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF 

MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/ 

GOTTMAN INSTITUTE ARTICLES ABOUT MONEY: https://www.gottman.com/blog/money-bankrupting-marriage/

“MONEY MAPS” FROM THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE: https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/ 

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Resetting a tough day doesn't always require a complete restart. Sometimes it's about catching an unhelpful thought, asking for what you need, or making one small change that shifts your momentum. Today we're sharing five simple ways we turn our own days around when we're feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck, along with real examples from our lives that have helped us respond differently. If you've ever felt like a bad morning means the whole day is ruined, this conversation is for you.

Key Topics Covered:
How to identify and reframe unhelpful thought patterns before they spiral
Why taking one small action today is more powerful than waiting for tomorrow
How clearly communicating your needs can reduce resentment at home
Simple ways to build momentum by changing your environment or routine
How gratitude and remembering you're on the same team can shift your perspective

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

Let’s connect!

HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast

HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer

MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen

This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.