Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead.

The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits.

How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely.

Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach.

Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing.

Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles.

Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.

 
Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to set limits, support independence, and reduce meltdowns with Devon Kuntzman
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help your child fall asleep with Eileen Henry
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Oren Jay Sofer, mindfulness teacher, communication expert, and author of Say What You Mean, joins me to explore the principles of Nonviolent Communication, a powerful framework that helps us communicate in ways that foster connection, reduce conflict, and strengthen relationships.
 
Together we explore:
 
Why your child's challenging behavior may be pointing to something much deeper than disobedience.

The surprising shift that can completely change how you approach power struggles.

Why memorizing parenting scripts often falls flat, and what to focus on instead.

How your own unmet needs may be fueling the very conflicts you're trying to solve.

The simple mindset change that can help you stay calmer when emotions run high.

What children are really learning from every interaction, even when things don't go as planned.

How to set firm boundaries without relying on shame, fear, or punishment.

A practical communication strategy that can make it easier for children to cooperate.

 
Whether you're parenting a toddler, school-aged child, or teenager, this conversation offers a thoughtful framework for navigating everyday challenges with greater presence, compassion, and confidence, while strengthening the secure attachment your child depends on.
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.orenjaysofer.com/ 
📚 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
📚 Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love
📚 Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents
📱 @orenjaysofer
 
 
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 
📱IG: @drsarahbren
 
 
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about kids' self-regulation, attention, and creativity, with somatic therapist Alé Duarte
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of mindfulness and how teaching these skills to our kids has worldwide impact with Dr. Dan Siegel

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
Whether parents should wait to address anxiety or OCD symptoms while their child is in a PANS or PANDAS flare.

How to tell the difference between supporting your child and unintentionally strengthening anxiety.

Why the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approach helps parents create lasting change without requiring their child to participate in therapy.

Why you don't have to start with the biggest or hardest challenge to see meaningful progress.

How reducing just a few anxiety-driven routines can lead to improvements across many different areas of your child's life.

Practical ways to help your child build confidence in handling anxiety while feeling deeply supported and understood.

Resources for parents who want to learn more about SPACE therapy and find trained providers.

 
Whether your child has PANS, PANDAS, OCD, or anxiety more broadly, this episode will help you better understand your role in the treatment process and give you practical, evidence-based strategies for supporting your child with confidence, compassion, and hope.
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
🔗Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast with Nancy O'Hara MD 
 
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS/PANDAS with Dr. Nancy O'Hara
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
 
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most popular and foundational episodes in Securely Attached history.
 
When children are overwhelmed by big feelings, many parents wonder how to help them calm down, listen, or use the coping skills they've been taught. But before children can regulate themselves, they first need to experience regulation through relationships.
In this conversation, I sit down with early childhood specialist Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, to explore the powerful role co-regulation plays in helping children develop emotional regulation skills, resilience, and self-awareness.
 
Together we discuss:
 
What co-regulation is and why it is the foundation of emotional development.

Why emotional dysregulation is often contagious for both parents and children.

How to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed by big feelings.

Why the goal is not to be perfectly calm all the time.

How children learn emotional regulation through our modeling and presence.

Why getting comfortable with your child's discomfort can be one of the most important parenting skills.

The difference between being a detective and being a teacher during challenging moments.

How to respond when your child is upset about a limit you've set.

Why a child's rejection of a boundary is not a reflection of your effectiveness as a parent.

The role repair plays in building resilience, confidence, and connection.

 
This conversation offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding children's behavior through the lens of regulation rather than compliance. Dana reminds us that emotional outbursts are not signs that we've failed as parents or that our children are failing. They are opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. Most importantly, this episode is a powerful reminder that before we can co-regulate with our children, we must first learn how to regulate ourselves.
 
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
 
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
 
The best way parents can tell their children that they are planning to separate or get divorced.
How to approach this conversation in a way that helps children feel safe, supported, and loved.
What parents should share, what they should avoid sharing, and why it's important to focus on what you know rather than what you don't know yet.
The key reassurances every child needs to hear, even if they never ask the questions out loud.
Why children of different ages may react very differently to the news and how to tailor your approach to your child's developmental stage.
How to respond when children react with sadness, anger, blame, resistance, or seemingly no reaction at all.
Practical ways to help children adjust to changes in the family while maintaining a sense of stability and connection.
When it may be helpful to involve a therapist or family professional for additional support.
 
This episode will help you approach one of the most difficult conversations a family can face with greater confidence, compassion, and clarity while supporting your child's emotional well-being through the transition.
 
 
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
 
👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
 
 
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach with Una Archer
 
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?
 
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
 
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!