Two Librans

This episode we cover such festive topics as school shootings, Zohran’s waifu (who is definitely listening to the pod), and the prison industrial complex! Since this is the first episode we recorded and edited in a timely manner, we even talked about the newest Jeffrey Epstein “drop” and other topical matters—listen now, or feel irrelevant forever.JINGLE BELL ROCKMerry Mark E. Smith-smas, boys and girls, it’s the very first Two Librans Holiday Special! This episode’s Fall song is a bizarre cover of Jingle Bell Rock from a mid 90s John Peel session, with a wild story behind its improvised lyrics. We delve into the song’s history, and its many, many cover versions, almost all of them terrible.For comparison, here is the original. We’ll go over all the missing and added lyrics, green M&S bags, Brussels sprouts, old beef, and all.We’re a little drunk on this one. So sneak off from staid and awkward family time, lock yourself in the bathroom and spend some quality time with your real family.ALSO DISCUSSEDThe story behind the coverFrom the new audiobook version of Steve Hanley’s the Big Midweek.Roman’s exceedingly thoughtful gift for TomGets yours hereNY post headlinesPrisonJust friendsKurt Vonnegut farting aroundRiver City Ransom US cover artPS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Tom is still cranking away furiously on his comic, and you can read the last installment with its proper formatting.Roman recently had a work trip and made some exciting drawings about office life. If you’re reading this before the end of the year, his annual subscription has a discount, and he’s pledging to put out more posts. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

Howdy-ho, fellow and honorary Librans, to a brand-spankin’-new episode we recorded months ago! Now that we’ve crossed the threshold into winter, it’s a great time to release an episode that we recorded in late spring and said will “probably come out this summer.” When Tom heard that while editing the episode it made him very sad! He looked outside at the frosty gray day from his millennial gray apartment. He then looked back at Adobe Audition and started sobbing. Poor Tom.But Tom was rapidly filled with cheer as he realized this was the episode where we discuss…BRITISH PEOPLE IN HOT WEATHERYes, what better time to share a song about summer than in the middle of the winter of our diss-content? This banging tune will certainly warm you up, whatever cold region you might be currently inhabiting.Mark brings himself to giggles singing about how poorly the British handle the heat in this weird B-Side released around the time he went through a divorce and recorded Extricate. It might be their most spite-fueled album, which is really saying something when you consider their catalogue, and it’s nice to hear Mark get a little silly in this pretty throw-away track.ALSO DISCUSSEDSpending the summer with Tom Hank’s son (really.)No joke, this is Tom Hank’s sonFellow faux-Jamaican-Patoi lover, Adrian BrodySound of the Summer.Kubrik’s scene compositions in Barry Lyndon This great interview with Robert Crumb at the 92nd St. Y (if you listen closely you can hear Tom laughing in the audience!)The intensely disturbing Claymation film The Adventures of Mark TwainHere, watch the whole fuckin’ movie!Roman’s very short career in Facebook gamesPS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman recently came back from France with some very French comics to show.And whoa! Tom is writing comics again! Holy shit, you’d better subscribe so you can READ THE WHOLE BOOK as he slowly draws it! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

Just in time for spooky szn, one of the more disturbing Fall songs from an album with a kind of holiday skull. More importantly, we finally fulfill the astrological premise of our podcast, and talk for an unreasonable amount of time about a certain Bushwick bar, centered around the stars and their signs. We go in deep, reading google reviews and missions statements, and, as usual, end up in the doghouse, discussing whether it’s cool or not to ruin your ex-wife’s songs. We also talk about “straight bars” where we feel safe, Roman’s amorous escapades, rejection vouchers, and many other things. Listen till the end for a bonus interview with the man Mark E.Smith and the woman Brix Smith themselves.ALSO DISCUSSEDThis fucking styleGet Your Birthday Song from Hermeto PascoalThe Less “Doctored” Earlier VersionWhat do you think, listener, is it better? We think it is, and Mark was a bit of a knob to dismantle this song further for no good reason.Normal Men Weigh In on Brix’s Contributions Aaaawesome Book for Real Dudes of the ManosphereThe ClassicalThe Other Great Kr*utr*ck Album ArtPS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman is halfway through his long depressing book, and in the next chapter the umbrella story from this episode might reappear in a slightly altered form.Roman’s 15 minutes on Substack from back when Ghibli AI was relevant. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

Are you feeling parched? Well, it’s time for another Two Librans episode, so open your cake holes and we’ll douse you from our content firehose! Before we start to discuss The Fall, which is ostensibly the subject of this podcast, we start the episode with a new, short-lived and deeply problematic segment dubbed “The Dog House” (a.k.a. “the Meat is Back”) in which we wanted to go over the latest breakups in comics scene, for all the single minglers out there. We cut almost all of it, out of respect for our colleagues.MEIN DYKHOFFOnce we get that out of our systems, we get to the real subject of today’s episode, a discussion of the classic track Lie Dream of a Casino Soul.Adorned with classic Savage Pencil art, this non-album single slaps in every possible way, from the pling-plong keyboards to the lyrics, which are discussed to no end and no point on The Annotated Fall.There’s a lot of bickering in the comments there until, on the seventy-ninth comment, someone posts the lyrics, written by Marc E. Smith himself, scanned for a Omega Auction of his estate:So there you have it, he doesn’t say “So I think I’ll cut my dick off”, he says “I think I’ll cut my Dykhoff”, which makes zero sense.NEW FACTS EMERGEOh, but does he? When putting together these notes months after the recordings, we came across another Omega auction with the lyrics to the song, with hand-written additions by Marc. So this will remain a mystery until we use AI to resurrect Marc so we can ask him ourselves. Get on it, Zuckenberg!ALSO DISCUSSEDThe great Savage Pencil (who is still alive)SavX’s badass artwork for Big Black’s (middling) Headache EP… which replaced the original, truly reprehensible packaging conceived by the original edgelord, Steve Albini (do not look this up).They’re just pumpkins.It’s just a cheeseburger (squint).Okay, Gooner.How do you celebrate 3/11?Chechnya in Cars 2Marc Bell invented The Minions, period.Jeffrey Lewis’s terrific Legend of the FallPS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has become public domain, apparently.Also, his new book is up for preorder! Don’t miss his sombre side with this one.And whoa! Tom finished his portfolio, fucking finally! Mostly professional animation work but also has some of his drawings and prints. And he’s working on a new comic, he swears!http://tvd.designHe’s also going to start his blog again, he swears!https://substack.com/@tomvandeusen This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

Hey everyone! The Two Libs are back with an important new episode. We’re doing the difficult but necessary work to cool the hateful political rhetoric poisoning our country right now, so we can all see each other’s inherent human good and right to free discussion.Specifically, we’re talking about the legacy of the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies! You know, that swing revival band with a name that straddles between stupid and abhorrent? Roman indulges Tom in a full 30 minutes of “Daddycast”, and lo and behold, they’re both more problematic than you remember and impossibly worse now. So strap in for that! What was our podcast about again?SOCCER SCORESThat’s right! It’s about soccer (football, for the limeys) and the week’s scores! Specifically from 20 years ago, and specifically read by the lead singer of The Fall, one Mark E. Smith. He performs a very straight-faced reading of a bunch of football results with scores like “Nil-Nil”. When he’s finished he insults the host’s looks. Not to be missed, especially if you believe the comments, since this video has everyone in hysterics for some reason.Also, Roman tells a long, confusing sex “joke” which he later says is “more of a story”. He eventually drew it into a four panel comic which you can read right here.ALSO DISCUSSEDTom Morello wankery (per usual) The Actual Zoot Suit RiotsThe worst anything, everThe biggest dichotomy between an album’s music and its coverToilet paper loreAlso features Roman’s manly new song “Once I was Just a Young Man, Now I’m a Slightly Older Man.” PS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has been making relatable comics for your co-workers.And here’s Tom’s Substack he’s sorely neglected because he’s been working on career stuff. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com