Because I'm Healing

This month, I’m thinking about reconnecting.

I’m spending August back in the United States with my family, and being home has me reflecting on all the ways we can reconnect, not just with others but also with ourselves.

It’s easy to get caught up in doing everything, meeting expectations, showing up where we’re supposed to be, and building the life we thought we wanted. Then we realize that some of it doesn’t feel good anymore.

In this episode, I’m starting with something simple: remembering.

I also discuss the link between play, the chakra system, human development, and intuition. I explain how trying out what feels good can help you rebuild trust in yourself.

It doesn't have to be big or dramatic; it just has to help you reconnect.

(00:00) - How to Reconnect With Yourself
(02:29) - Why Childhood Joy Helps You Feel More Grounded
(03:46) - How Play Supports Emotional Well-Being
(06:24) - Reconnecting With Your Intuition Through Play
(10:20) - Comfort Food, Culture, and Feeling at Home
(12:00) - Creating Rituals That Help You Reconnect
(14:09) - Write a Letter From Your Future Self
(16:55) - Three Simple Practices to Reconnect With Yourself

Key Takeaways
Beware of the Overfunctioning Trap: It’s easy to perform and meet external expectations while privately feeling empty inside.
Play as a Somatic Reset: Play brings you back into your body and breaks up the rigid routine of adult responsibilities.
Grounding in Roots: Tapping into old traditions or foods creates a bridge back to simpler parts of yourself.
Future Self Guidance: Writing a letter from your future self offers perspective, validation, and a gentle connection to the present.

Resources Mentioned
Weekly Newsletter (Love Notes): Join Asha's email list for weekly reflections, community updates, and upcoming offers.
Social Media: Connect with Asha on Threads at @ashawilkersonesq to share your reflections on these exercises.

I used to love a good life hack. 

I used to work out more, track my steps, measure my sleep, optimize my schedule, and do the mindset work. I was focused on finding the right strategy to help me reach my goals faster. 

But lately, I’ve realized something: trying to hack the process can actually slow it down. 

I’m working out less now, and my workouts aren’t as intense. I’m making more room in my schedule. When my smartwatch broke on vacation, I didn't rush to replace it. Instead, I found peace in not constantly measuring my sleep, my steps, or my connection to my phone. 

I’m also learning to listen to what my nervous system is really telling me instead of trying to hack my brain or coach myself out of my feelings. 

Maybe the fastest way forward isn’t about finding another shortcut. 

Maybe it’s about facing what’s actually in front of you. 

In this episode, I discuss the power of doing less, why I believe we’re moving away from optimization culture, and what can happen when we stop rushing processes that need time.

(00:00) - How “hacks” used to run life
(01:27) - Old workout culture: maxing out every day
(01:56) - Why fewer workouts are helping more
(02:25) - More isn’t always better for the nervous system
(04:47) - The power of less in commitments and schedules
(05:16) - How the smartwatch became obsessive
(06:13) - Realizing she doesn’t miss the smartwatch
(07:12) - Listening to the nervous system instead of hacking it
(08:06) - Mindset coaching and trying to hack the brain
(09:04) - Faster progress by addressing the real need
(09:33) - Why shortcuts loop you back around
(10:04) - The quickest path is facing obstacles directly
(11:00) - The biscuit analogy for sustainable change
(11:30) - You can’t rush nervous system healing

Key Takeaways
More isn’t always better. Sometimes, your nervous system needs you to do less.
Creating more space in your schedule can bring you more peace than adding another commitment.
Tracking your health isn’t always the same as improving it.
Constant mindset work can end up blocking the signals your body is sending you.
The shortcut can turn into a long detour when you need to go back to what you skipped.
Sustainable change occurs when you work through your process instead of trying to rush it.
The time it takes is the time it takes, and you’re not wasting time by giving yourself what you truly need.

If you're enjoying the podcast, consider joining my email list where I share all the ways you can connect to community and go deeper with your healing via Love Notes, my weekly newsletter.

Everyone is talking about nervous system regulation, but what does that actually mean?

In this episode, I wanted to take the mystery out of one of the biggest wellness buzzwords and explain it in a way that's practical, not overly scientific, and not something that only therapists or coaches can understand.

Your nervous system isn't working against you. It's doing exactly what it was designed to do: keep you safe.

The challenge is that your brain doesn't always know the difference between what's dangerous and what's simply unfamiliar. That means the very things you want most: a new career, healthier relationships, starting a business, traveling, resting, even choosing yourself, can feel unsafe simply because they're new.

I share why your body responds this way, how your childhood experiences shape your nervous system's capacity, and why pushing through discomfort often isn't the answer.

Throughout the episode, I also walk through personal examples from my own life, including struggling with sleep, regulating my nervous system with an episode of Law & Order, navigating the demands of hosting co-working, and completely rethinking how I launch my business so it actually feels peaceful instead of overwhelming.

At the heart of it all is one simple practice:

Learning how to listen to your body.

Because maybe nervous system regulation isn't really about regulating anything at all.

Maybe it's simply about paying attention.

(00:00) Nervous System Regulation
(01:06) How Your Nervous System Keeps You Safe
(04:32) Fear of Travel & Feeling Safe
(05:52) How to Regulate in the Moment
(09:18) What Does Dysregulated Mean?
(10:23) Sleep, Stress & Nervous System Recovery
(14:20) There’s No “Right” Way to Regulate
(17:40) Overwhelm, Capacity & Asking for Support
(19:53) Body Listening & Emotional Awareness
(20:59) Business Anxiety & Nervous System Capacity
(23:07) Authentic Marketing Without Pressure
(26:49) Growing Your Capacity Without Burnout

In this episode, I discuss:
What your nervous system actually is
Why unfamiliar experiences feel dangerous
How childhood experiences shape your safety threshold
The difference between being dysregulated and simply having emotions
Why recovery, not perfection, is the sign of a healthy nervous system
Practical questions to ask yourself when anxiety or discomfort shows up
Why "pushing through" isn't always the healthiest response
How I redesigned my business to work with my nervous system instead of against it
Why listening to your body may be the greatest form of self-trust

Resources:
Find me on Threads: @ashawilkersonesq

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, or send me a message on Threads.

For a long time, I believed I needed to know exactly how everything would unfold before I could make a big decision.

As an attorney, professor, and lifelong planner, I was used to having a roadmap. But when I left my tenured position, my apartment, and the life I had built in California to move to Portugal, I didn't have one.

I only knew the next right step.

In this episode, I'm sharing why that decision became one of the most important lessons of my life. Recording from Porto before speaking at the Our Rich Journey FIRE Conference, I reflect on what it means to trust yourself before you have all the answers, why nervous system regulation matters more than the perfect plan, and how peace became the foundation for every decision I make.

I also share why I'm choosing to sell a property that once represented freedom, and how I realized that what once aligned with my values no longer supported the life I'm building today.

If you're standing between the life you've built and the life that's calling you, I hope this conversation reminds you that you don't need to know the entire staircase.

You only need enough courage to take the next right step.

00:00 - Embracing Life Transitions
02:35 - The Journey to Portugal and New Beginnings
05:24 - Finding Peace in Financial Independence
08:40 - Aligning Actions with Inner Peace
11:26 - Reevaluating Life Choices for Peace
14:19 - Taking the Next Right Step

Key Takeaways
• You don't need the entire plan before you begin.
• Peace is not something you earn after reaching your goals—it can become the strategy that guides your decisions today.
• A regulated nervous system helps you recognize what is truly aligned for you.
• Your values may change, and your decisions can change with them.
• Every aligned step reveals possibilities you couldn't have seen before.

Come home to yourself.

For a long time, I believed that keeping my word meant never changing my mind.

But over the years, I realized something important.

Sometimes we make decisions with the information we have at the time. Then life changes, or we change. We gather new experiences, new wisdom, and new data, and the decision that once felt aligned may no longer fit.

In this episode, I'm sharing why I finally changed the name of this podcast from Because I've Healed to Because I'm Healing, and why that small change represents something much bigger.

We talk about people-pleasing, keeping promises, making choices out of obligation rather than alignment, and why giving yourself permission to make a different decision isn't being unreliable. It's honoring who you are now.

If you've been holding onto a career, relationship, responsibility, identity, or role simply because you've always done it, this episode is your reminder that you're allowed to choose again.

Sometimes healing isn't staying committed to an old decision.

Sometimes healing is trusting yourself enough to make a new one.

(00:00) - Embracing Change: The Need for Permission
(10:00) - The Power of Decision-Making and Self-Permission
(18:03) - Redefining Roles and Responsibilities in Life

Key Takeaways
Healing is an ongoing process, not a destination.
You are allowed to make a different decision when you have new information.
Keeping your word should never require abandoning yourself.
People-pleasing often disguises itself as commitment.
Your body can become a trustworthy guide in decision-making.
Roles that once served you may eventually become too heavy to carry.
Choosing yourself is not selfish; it prevents burnout.
Sometimes changing course isn't changing your mind; it's honoring who you've become.
Your life today deserves decisions made with today's wisdom, not yesterday's circumstances.