Hi, it's Natalie here. After a bit of a summer pause (thanks to some tech drama), I’m thrilled to be back with a truly special episode. This one was recorded live at the Green Man Festival, on the Pandemonium Stage in Einstein’s Garden, and it’s a conversation I’ve been dreaming about for a long time. If you've been to a festival over the summer and think this type of conversation would fit, do let me know. Feel free to leave a comment wherever you listen or scroll to the bottom to find out more. We tackled one of the most common yet complicated questions many of us face:“So, do you have kids?” It seems innocent, but for so many, it opens the door to grief, awkwardness, and a whole lot of emotional weight. In this episode, we explore why that question can hurt and what we might ask instead.I was joined by four incredible guests who generously shared their personal stories and wisdom on stage:Mel Johnson, solo parent coach and founder of The Stork and IShema Tariq, academic, writer, baby loss advocate and Tommy’s trusteeBetty Mukherjee, MRKH campaigner and Race Across the World finalistAnd my husband, Rich Silverman, who opened up publicly for the first time about our journey with male factor infertility and the mental health impact on himWhat we talked aboutWhy the question “Do you have kids?” can be so deeply painful when you’re navigating infertility, baby loss, or childlessness not by choiceMel’s journey to solo motherhood and the way people still make assumptions about women who choose that pathShema’s IVF experience using donor eggs, the heart breaking loss of her baby at 21 weeks, and how her cultural background shaped her experienceBetty’s diagnosis of MRKH at 16 and how she opened up about it during her time on national TVRich’s journey with male factor infertility and how counselling helped him move forward, plus why more men need space to share tooThe words we use around fertility and family, and how language can uplift or hurtTalking to children about solo parenting and donor conception, and why openness mattersThe trauma of fertility treatment, especially for people of colour, and the inequalities that still existHow to truly show up for loved ones going through these journeys, and why "I'm here if you ever want to talk" is sometimes not enoughBetter ways to connectIf you're ever unsure of what to say instead of “Do you have kids?”, here are a few suggestions we shared:“What’s been bringing you joy lately?”“What’s been going on in your world?”“What are you passionate about these days?”And most importantly: ask twice. Sometimes people need that second invitation to feel safe opening up.Have a listen to my chat with Shema previously - way back in 2022What do I need to think about when going abroad for donor treatment? • The Fertility Podcast Let’s keep the conversation goingConnect with me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddyShema's Insta: @drshematariqMel's Insta: @the_stork_and_iBetty's Insta: @bettymuk_Rich's Insta:
Portugal