Sex For Couples with Heather Shannon

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com.
Tired of the all or nothing sex cycle? Learn how to enjoy intimacy without pressure, even when your energy is running low.
If you feel like every affectionate moment needs to lead to intercourse, you might be trapped in an all or nothing sex mindset. This pattern often leaves partners feeling exhausted or disconnected, as it narrows the definition of what intimacy can be. This episode is for anyone who wants to break that cycle and find more room to breathe in their relationship.
Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon explains how to build intimacy without pressure, helping you explore diverse forms of intimacy that do not require high energy or a high libido. By shifting your focus away from the performance of intercourse, you can start reclaiming your sexual experiences and finding connection in the small, everyday moments.
Subscribe for weekly relationship insights, and comment if you have felt the pressure to perform in your own relationship.
Want Heather to be your sex and relationship coach?
Request your free consultation call here: https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

In this episode of Sex For Couples, Heather Shannon talks with relationship coach Ally Iseman about non-monogamy, consensual open relationships, and how to build a sex life and relationship that's designed on purpose instead of running on autopilot. They get into why exclusivity and commitment aren't the same thing, why jealousy shows up in monogamous relationships too, and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools non-monogamous couples use to keep things exciting.
Ally is the founder of Passport to Pleasure, offering relationship coaching and curated travel experiences for couples who want to have the conversations they don't get to have anywhere else. She and Heather talk about relationship scripts, the difference between fantasy and desire, why living together or splitting things a certain way isn't required for commitment, and why curiosity — not effort — is the real antidote to a stuck sex life.
In this episode:
Why exclusivity and commitment are not the same thing
Jealousy is an emotional experience, not a character trait — and it shows up in monogamous relationships too
The difference between a fantasy and a desire, and why you can share one without acting on it
How "relationship scripts" (living together, marriage, monogamy by default) keep couples from designing what actually works for them
Why avoiding a hard conversation with your partner is still a choice, not neutral
How non-monogamous couples build novelty and variety — and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools
Why your sex life is supposed to change over time, and what that means for your relationship

Connect with Ally Iseman:
Website: https://www.passport2pleasure.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allyiseman
Connect with Heather:
Stuck In A Sex Rut? Take the free quiz: TheBetterBedroom.com
Work with Heather As Your Coach: https://HeatherShannon.co

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Stuck in a sex rut? Take the free quiz at https://TheBetterBedroom.com
If you've ever wondered if you're sexually repressed or inhibited, this is the eipsode for you!
Discover the signs that you're sexually inhibited, why so many people hold back sexually and what to do to become more sexually authentic and free to be yourself! Let your freak flag (or vanilla flag) fly.
Host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon goes over common patterns she sees with clients as well as her own past experiences feeling repressed and uncomfortable with sexuality.
In this episode, Heather shares practical ways to notice when you are holding back, how to talk about desires with a partner, and how to work with the parts of yourself that feel protective or ashamed.
Key topics
Sexual inhibition can show up as keeping fantasies private, staying quiet during sex, or feeling like your desires are weird or inappropriate.
A “low libido” may actually be hidden desire that has been buried by self-judgment, fear of being judged, or difficulty naming wants.
Private sexual interests, like porn fantasies, romance novels, or kink scenarios, can be a sign that part of your sexuality is not being shared with a partner.
Cultural conditioning plays a major role, including messages from family, friends, school, church, purity culture, and gender socialization.
Safety matters first. Heather notes that sexual inhibition can be tied to real concerns about unwanted attention, objectification, and sexual aggression.
Substance use during sex can be a clue that inhibition is getting in the way of pleasure and ease.

Timestamps
00:00 - What sexual inhibition is and what this episode will cover
00:31 - Signs you may be repressed or censoring yourself
05:36 - How socialization teaches people what sex is “allowed” to be
06:06 - Church, purity culture, and shame-based sexual messaging
07:03 - Sexual safety, unwanted attention, and guardedness
09:25 - Family modeling, mixed examples, and emotional risk around sex
13:36 - How civilization can lead us to exile our primal side
15:00 - Reconciling the proper self with the sexual self
16:25 - Integrating lust and emotional connection
17:24 - Using parts work to welcome the more wild parts
19:50 - How sharing desires can create intimacy and closeness
20:49 - Substance use as a sign that inhibition may be present
21:10 - Befriending the protective inner voice
21:40 - Freeing your sexuality without needing to be stereotypically wild
23:06 - How to ask for curiosity and safety from a partner
Looking for coaching? Request a free consultation with Heather:
Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Feeling stuck in your sex life? Take the free quiz to find your sexy spark again: https://thebetterbedroom.com
SEX WITH ADHD
You're in the middle of sex and somehow your brain wanders off to grocery lists, Hamilton the musical, or the ceiling fan clicking. Then the shame kicks in. If that's you, this episode is going to change how you think about it completely.
Heather sits down with Cate Osborn, ADHD content creator, sex educator, and best-selling author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to break down what ADHD and neurodivergence actually have to do with sex and intimacy. Spoiler: everything.
They cover why the ADHD brain treats sex like just another series of tasks (same as making a sandwich), why kink might be the most naturally ADHD-friendly toolbox there is, how executive dysfunction shows up in the bedroom, the surprising links between ADHD and erectile dysfunction, orgasm difficulty, and hormonal shifts, and, for partners of someone with ADHD, where explanation ends and excuse begins.
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
01:35 Why so many of Heather's clients turn out to be neurodivergent
02:53 Executive functioning and how it touches every part of your sex life
04:15 The comorbidities nobody talks about (anxiety, OCD, disordered eating)
04:42 What "AuDHD" is and why it matters
06:45 The sexual assault statistics that stopped Heather in her tracks
08:04 Inside The ADHD Field Guide for Adults
14:11 Why kink might be the perfect tool for an ADHD brain
18:20 The real reason you get distracted during sex
23:50 "I'm thinking about Hamilton the musical", checking out mid-sex
25:10 Eye contact, communication, and knowing your own needs
36:12 The partner side: what's fair to ask, and where accountability comes in
44:34 Resentment, parentified relationships, and sex drive
45:43 Orgasm difficulty and erectile dysfunction, explained
Curious about coaching with Heather? Book a free Pathway to Passion consult
More from Cate Osborn:
Instagram
Buy The Book

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Feeling stuck in your sex life or wondering how to reignite intimacy with your partner? Take the free quiz at TheBetterBedroom.com to find out what's really going on.
Why More Frequent Sex Isn't the Fix You Need
Most couples who feel stuck in their sex life assume the answer is just having sex more often. Couples therapist Zach Brittle (host of Marriage Therapy Radio) joins host and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon to explain why chasing frequency backfires, and why sex is actually a skill you build, not something you either have or don't. They dig into what people get wrong when they try to "work harder" at sex, why outcome-focused sex (orgasm, erection, intercourse) narrows what counts as intimacy, and how one couple in Zach's practice eliminated the guesswork around initiation entirely with a simple negotiated system.
Topics covered:
Why "more sex" is the wrong goal for a low sex life
Reframing sex as a skill instead of a talent you either have or don't
What "what's it for?" and "what counts?" reveal about your sex life
Why rejection in the bedroom is rarely about attraction
A real couple's negotiated system for ending initiation anxiety
Treating sex like a hobby instead of a performance

More from Zach Brittle:
Marriage Therapy Radio — https://marriagetherapyradio.com/
More from Heather:
AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, host of Sex For Couples. Want personalized support for your relationship? Book a coaching consultation at https://HeatherShannon.co.

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp