"Modern Relationships"

• Triggered to Transformed with Art of Accomplishment's Joe Hudson and Tara Howley

  This week, Erik sits down with Joe Hudson and Tara Howley, the extraordinary couple behind Art of Accomplishment, whose coaching has helped CEOs like Sam Altman. They share their journey from a toxic relationship to a deeply connected partnership, offering personal stories, practical strategies, and insights on how self-growth, therapy, and commitment to transformation can foster resilient, loving relationships. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- LINK/S: Art of Accomplishment: https://www.artofaccomplishment.com/ Joe and Esme — The Teenage Years: https://youtu.be/Eg70lbiElrI?si=bK-8FB-bzYh6HqL1 How to Be a Parent (Without Messing Everything Up) | Joe Hudson and Nathan Baschez: https://www.artofaccomplishment.com/podcast/how-to-be-a-parent-without-messing-everything-up-joe-hudson-and-nathan-baschez -- FOLLOW ON X: Joe - @FU_joehudson Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia Chapters 00:00:00 Preview and Intro 00:01:48 Disclosure 00:02:54 Welcome Joe and Tara 00:03:01 How Joe and Tara Met 00:13:03 Early Challenges and Growth 00:14:11 The Role of Self-Development 00:16:39 Navigating Relationship Dynamics 00:17:14 Sponsor: Relationship Hero 00:18:49 Transformation and Trust 00:27:10 Marriage Requirements and Challenges 00:28:27 Evaluating a Life Partner 00:30:27 Trade-offs and Compromises in Marriage 00:35:57 The Importance of Being Seen 00:43:11 Triggers and Personal Growth 00:44:53 Grieving and Moving On 00:46:55 Choosing the Right Partner 00:53:54 Life Changes and Marriage 00:55:18 Wrap

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• Lindsay Taub & Harley Finkelstein: How to Build a Ride or Die Partnership

  In this episode, Erik sits down with Harley Finkelstein and Lindsay Taub, partners of 15 years. Harley, Shopify's president, and Lindsay, a psychotherapist and entrepreneur, discuss their speed dating origin story, balancing radical acceptance with growth, and redefining work-life balance while raising two daughters together when your job is all-consuming. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- Shopify: https://www.shopify.com/ph -- FOLLOW ON X: Harley - @harleyf Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia Chapters 00:00:00 Preview and Intro 00:01:39 Disclosure 00:02:45 The Speed Dating Origin Story 00:04:47 Early Relationship Challenges 00:07:27 Deciding to Move In Together 00:10:25 True Partnerships and Taking Chances 00:13:26 Sponsor: Relationship Hero 00:15:07 Building Success Together 00:17:55 Relationships Are Constantly Evolving 00:19:24 Relationship Role Models and Date Nights 00:23:09 The Value of Couples Therapy 00:24:45 Finding a Partner: What Doesn't Work 00:26:28 The Importance of Sharing Life Goals 00:29:09 Intentionality: "How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything" 00:34:16 Raising Kids and Money 00:39:00 Teaching Gratitude and Philanthropy 00:43:21 Parenting by Example 00:48:25 The Key to Relationship Longevity 00:52:00 Incorporating Work and Life 00:54:37 Accepting Your Partner While Encouraging Growth 00:58:27 Wrap

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• The Two Questions That Matter Most in Finding a Life Partner with Jared Fliesler

  Today on Modern Relationships Erik Torenberg is joined by Jared Fliesler, a former executive at Google, Square, and Scribd turned founder coach, discusses how to identify core values in partners, distinguish between compromise and "horse trading," and determine when someone is "good enough." He shares insights on building meaningful connections, his co-living experiments, and navigating long-distance relationships. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- LINKS | BOOKS RECOMMENDED: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer, Diana Champan, etc: https://conscious.is/15-commitments Book: https://www.amazon.com/15-Commitments-Conscious-Leadership-Sustainable-ebook/dp/B00R3MHWUE Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine: https://www.amazon.com/Positive-Intelligence-Individuals-Achieve-Potential/dp/1608322785 -- FOLLOW ON X: Jared -@JaredSF Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia Chapters 00:00:00 Intro 00:01:30 How to Know When Someone is "Good Enough" 00:04:20 Core Values vs. Surface Compatibility 00:07:02 Evolution of Relationship Priorities 00:14:06 Embracing Past Relationship Struggles 00:15:48 Sponsor: Relationship Hero 00:18:31 Tools for Aligning on What Really Matters 00:24:35 Values Evolution: From San Francisco to Austin 00:30:45 Living in Community: Beyond Roommates 00:39:01 House Values and Shared Agreements 00:41:17 When to Call It Quits in a Relationship 00:45:22 Compromise vs. Horse Trading 00:50:27 Communication Frameworks for Deeper Connection 00:57:30 Navigating Age Gaps and Family Planning 01:01:51 Making Long-Distance Relationships Work 01:11:00 The Paradox of Choice in Modern Dating 01:20:45 Dating Apps and Modern Gay Relationships 01:25:34 Polyamory: Complexity and Connection 01:27:38 Wrap

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• How to Navigate Conflict and Respond Better to Emotions | Ann Pierce

  Today on Modern Relationships Erik Torenberg talks to Ann Pierce, a former startup founder who became obsessed with the mission of solving interpersonal conflict. Ann unpacks why conflict isn't inherently negative but actually builds trust when handled correctly. She covers why invalidation is the most common threat most of us encounter, how we misunderstand each other through projection, and how to break the cycles of conflict. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- LINKS: Ann Pierce Website: https://www.annpierce.com/ Ann Pierce - Understanding Interpersonal Conflict: https://substack.com/home/post/p-153042013?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web Love Symposium: https://symposium.love/ -- FOLLOW ON X: Ann - @itsannpierce Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia Chapters 00:00:00 Intro and Preview 00:01:56 Ann's Background and Research Journey 00:04:01 The Compatibility Question 00:06:00 Understanding Healthy Conflict 00:08:00 Personality Typologies and Wounds 00:12:27 Sponsor: Relationship Hero 00:14:04 The Nature of Threat Sensitivity 00:17:07 Breaking Conflict Cycles 00:20:16 Moving Beyond Binary Thinking 00:23:02 How Emotions Function 00:28:33 Emotional Regulation Tools 00:33:44 Misinterpreting Each Other 00:39:22 Language and Misunderstandings 00:44:35 Overcoming Threat Sensitivity 00:54:31 Building Self-Worth and Self-Esteem 00:55:21 Critiques of Couples Therapy 00:59:24 Practical Steps for Self-Improvement 01:01:29 Training and Practice for Better Relationships 01:04:36 The Love Symposium and Future Work 01:05:24 Wrap

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• ⁠⁠A Female Dating Coach Explains Men's Dating Behavior | Matchmaker Blaine Anderson

  Dating coach and matchmaking expert Blaine Anderson discusses the psychology behind successful dating for men in today's complex landscape. The conversation explores why instant "sparks" are often misleading indicators of relationship potential, with Anderson revealing how chemistry can develop over time rather than appearing at first sight. She explains why many men find themselves trapped in the friendzone and offers counterintuitive strategies for escaping it—including the critical step of genuinely moving on. Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co -- SPONSOR: Relationship Hero It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session. -- LINKS: Dating by Blaine: https://clients.datingbyblaine.com/hi -- FOLLOW ON X: Blaine - @datingbyblaine Erik - @eriktorenberg Turpentine - @turpentinemedia Chapters 00:00:00 Intro and Preview 00:02:26 Being a Woman Dating Coach for Men 00:03:45 Why Focus on Coaching Men 00:04:41 "Serial Killer Vibes" in Dating Profiles 00:05:08 Core Dating Advice Philosophy 00:07:13 What Dating Coaching Looks Like 00:08:33 Blaine's Dating Courses Overview 00:10:21 Common Client Types and Their Challenges 00:12:04 Matchmaking Process and Mindsets 00:13:59 Questioning Dating Criteria 00:16:22 Sponsor: Relationship Hero 00:17:15 Age Preferences and Dating Flexibility 00:19:09 Career vs. Traditional Roles in Relationships 00:21:00 How Matchmaking Works 00:23:41 How Matchmakers Find Potential Partners 00:24:45 Marketing vs. Product in Dating 00:26:26 Post-Breakup Dating Advice 00:27:52 Evaluating Potential Relationships 00:29:17 The Myth of "Instant Chemistry" 00:30:19 Escaping the Friend Zone 00:32:21 Advice for Men Who "Simp" Too Hard 00:33:00 Where Coaching Ends and Therapy Begins 00:34:46 Women's Dating Coaching 00:36:34 The Future of Dating 00:38:31 The Stigma of Dating Coaching 00:40:43 Dating Apps vs. Self-Development 00:41:55 Dating Rules: When to Have Sex 00:44:24 Transition to Long-Term Relationships 00:46:28 Blaine's Personal Dating Evolution 00:49:00 Matchmaking Confidence and Success Metrics 00:51:42 Blind Dates vs. Pre-qualification 00:52:39 How Matchmaking Services Are Structured 00:53:24 Wrap

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