The Imperfects
Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

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292 episódios
- Could you live without your phone for a month?
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This week it's just the three of us. And like Odysseus before us, we embark on a life changing epic.
Where he fought the trojans, monsters, cannibals, sirens, the oceans, a cyclops and ACTUAL GODS!!
We will do something even ‘EPIC…ER’.
We’re tackling our phones.
Each of us take on a month-long challenge to fix our worst phone habits, inspired by the ‘god of no phones’ - Christopher Nolan and the release of THE ODYSSEY (if that wasn’t obvious already, but we promise this episode isn't an ad).
We then share some of our favourite bits from behind the pay wall, from our Patreon/Subscriber community. Ryan has an unplanned, very generous on-air hair donation; Josh shares a bit from a book which changed his life a bit; which leads to one of the most honest conversations he and Hugh have ever had on (or off) the show, about comparison, self-esteem, and growing up idolising your older brother.
This is one epic journey.
00:00 — The Phone Odyssey Begins
08:54 — Our Phone-Free Pledges
19:11 — Modelling Better Habits at Home
25:29 — Hairing is Caring
37:57 — A Bit From a Book That Changed Josh’s Life a Bit
48:18 — The Conversation Between Brothers That Needed to Be Had
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Bronte Campbell - Comparison, The thief of joy ****https://bit.ly/49S1S7C
Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey Print for Dads https://bit.ly/4w4ohI8
How (and why) Ryan Dumped his iPhone https://bit.ly/3T3xdyM
Sam Willoughby - The tragic injury that changed his life (and Ryan’s Finnastride admission) https://bit.ly/4fa5u8p
📖 Things to read
The midnight library - Matt Haigh https://bit.ly/4vGgnE0
How Proust can change your life - Alain de Botton https://bit.ly/4dYfCkd
In search of lost time - Marcel Proust https://bit.ly/4vt3lJG
📺Things to watch
The Odyssey https://bit.ly/4vY8nij
Christopher Nolan on 60minutes https://bit.ly/4yjfZgX
💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. - To be jealous is to be human. It is what you do with that feeling that counts.
💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is in the studio to talk about THAT podcast moment: the one where Ryan admitted he was jealous of Hugh and Hamish Blake’s relationship. The one that lives in Imperfects history.
According to Dr Em, we develop the emotion of jealousy at just 9 months old, and it shows up everywhere; family, work, school, friends.
Feelings around jealousy can be extremely painful, especially if it is accompanied by shame.
In this episode, Dr Emily explores why jealousy can be so dangerous when not listened to, and why our jealous behaviour can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
See you on the other side.
If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/dlufNQ7iXCc
00:00 - The Day Has Arrived
02:48 - When Ryan Revealed He Was Jealous of Hugh & Hamish
7:45 - Shame Tells You Not To Speak It
10:02 - Harry Styles Walks Into a Super Market
15:54 - You’re Making My Dog Jealous
22:31 - Feeling Jealous vs Being Jealous
43:49 - Hugh, Ryan & Hamish: 4 Years Later
47:50 - How To Have The Conversation (And Build Trust)
59:32 - You Can Feel Jealous AND Still Trust
🫖 Episodes mentioned in this episode
Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/3QG8MXo
💻Things to check out
Uncertainty vs inevitable pain study - https://bit.ly/43NWFKQ
🎵Songs to listen to
Jealous Guy by John Lennon - https://bit.ly/43NWzCY
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. - Want can you learn from playing with a child?
In today's Academy of Imperfection, Bluey creator Joe Brumm joins us (for real life), with Hamish Blake stepping in as guest host.
💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
In this episode we dig into the world of play - ”the voluntary overcoming of unnecessary obstacles”, we find out what makes a ‘good’ player and why kids' imaginative play tends to fade around age 12.
Josh and Hugh take the chance to wax lyrical about their favourite Bluey episodes, Rain, Fruit Bat, Born Yesterday, The Decider (to name a few). And all three dads also share some moments of parenting shame as we discuss the constant battle for attention between our phones, and our kids.
00:00 - Hamish Blake from Rove
08:13 - Bluey, The Most Streamed TV Show of All Time
11:51 - The Best Definition of Play You've Ever Heard
21:00 - It’s All Improvising
38:02 - Permission to Pretend Again
51:20 - My Kids Wouldn’t Have The Dad They Have Without Bluey
54:00 - Doing Something Just for Fun Is a Valid Reason
58:07 - Being Present In a World of Distractions
01:22:00 - The Bluey Episode That Made a Room Full of Footballers Cry
01:27:16 - Let Them Lead and See What Happens
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/eMigxjhCkcs
🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
How (and why) Ryan dumped his iphone https://bit.ly/4vi83uA
📺 Things to watch
Bluey - Shadowlands https://bit.ly/4eTzKTA
Bluey - Calypso https://bit.ly/3QT6NyT
Bluey - Magic Xylophone https://bit.ly/4gdY057
Bluey - Born Yesterday https://bit.ly/3SvY5HA
Bluey - Bin Night https://bit.ly/4gd89Pt
Bluey - The decider https://bit.ly/4eHS1V4
Bluey - Faceytalk https://bit.ly/4wpWWju
Bluey - Pass the parcel https://bit.ly/4gi9PXU
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. - How do you raise a child whose brain works differently?
This episode is for parents of kids with ADHD. And parents who have ADHD. And people who don’t have a diagnosis, but would consider themselves ‘fast and loose’. And for everyone who knows someone who fits the above criteria.
💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
Janelle Booker, a psychologist who specialises in ADHD, is BACK, this time, to talk to parents of ADHD kids, and how to parent when you yourself have ADHD.
And also, ADHD-curious Hamish Blake is here too.
We look at the role of dopamine, energy vs stressors, and how to make your mornings less chaotic and more compassionate.
Hamish and Janelle. What a duo.
0:00 – A dynamic duo: Hamish and Janelle
5:58 – The penny drop moment for Hugh
11:35 – ADHD or Fast and Loose?
19:56 – The beauty and beast of ADHD brains
22:38 – The life of an ADHD kid
27:16 – A crash course on dopamine
37:26 – Structure, sleep and school
44:38 – Identity and diagnosis
55:13 – ADHD kids and friendships
1:02:50 – Parenting WITH ADHD
1:16:29 – Finding and supporting regulation
1:23:13 – Slo-pamine
1:28:54 – Let’s talk about the strengths
1:34:35 – Get ‘em outside!
If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/WwEBTIMohwg
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Janelle Booker - Living With ADHD - https://bit.ly/4g0CUXK
Hugh’s ADHD…brief - https://bit.ly/4g567Rw
Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://bit.ly/4uYFbGS
💻Things to check out
Janelle’s website - https://bit.ly/3QJdO5t
The MEHRIT Centre - https://self-reg.ca/
The ADHD Parent Circle Online Program - https://bit.ly/4g5Anvu
ADHD Women’s Support Group (Perinatal and Early Parenting) - https://bit.ly/3T0BJ0N
Online Q&A with Janelle about ADHD parenting - https://bit.ly/4g5wneu
📖Things to read
ADHD: A Delightful Human Difference. Reframing ADHD for Good, by Janelle Booker and Matthew Johnson - https://bit.ly/4w7scU3
🎧Things to listen to
Hamish & Andy podcast - https://bit.ly/43Z0RHJ
Controlling Your Dopamine For Motivation, Focus & Satisfaction, by Huberman Lab - https://bit.ly/4xPnMCZ
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. - How do you choose who to trust? And how do you show others that you are trustworthy?
💌Join 8,100+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
In this Academy of Imperfection, we are joined by Jimmy Wales, co-founder of Wikipedia. No biggie (BIG biggie).
And if there’s one thing Jimmy knows, it's how to garner and imbue the trust of millions.
You’re right in feeling like the general level of trust globally is low right now, but this episode is here to step through Jimmy's 7 rules which will help you build, rebuild, and solidify what is in our innate human behaviour.
Trust is important, and so is this conversation.
0:00 – BIG deal on the internet
8:41 – The heart behind it all
14:57 – Trust is always personal
20:22 – It’s human nature
23:33 – Good guys of the internet
30:35 – Don’t take sides
38:23 – The circle of trust
40:15 – Own up
46:03 – Let’s call them a civil person
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/Z1SPClxSfYI
📖 Things to read
The Seven Rules of Trust, by Jimmy Wales - https://bit.ly/4vi83uA
🎧Things to listen to
How to Build (And Rebuild) Trust with Frances Frei - https://bit.ly/4vfMMSl
🏆Competitions to enter
Imperfects LIVE at the Balwyn Cinema Gold Class Double Pass - https://bit.ly/3S0E0Zr
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Sobre The Imperfects
We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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