The Imperfects

Are you stuck, focusing on what's wrong in your relationship?
Deeply embedded in the work of intimacy, desire and relationships, psychotherapist and best-selling author Esther Perel, ask us to take a look at ourselves first, rather than listing the short comings of our partner.
💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
In this Academy of Imperfection, Hugh (who sadly was violently ill last time we talked to Esther) comes armed with questions about the mental load (with love, from Penny), and how to navigate their differing needs for affection.
Ryan asks Esther whether we’re capable of falling in love with AI, and Josh wants to know why we sometimes put up walls with the ones we love the most.
And, if you’ve ever asked yourself any of the below, this episode’s for you;
is working from home causing social atrophy?
what does it mean to be an embodied creature?
what are the downfalls of a frictionless relationship?
Esther, you are welcome back anytime. ANYTIME.
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/u5HsDD9bjRQ
🫖Other episodes of the Imperfects mentioned on this episode
Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://bit.ly/41m8R4f
Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/3PPugAp
💻Things to check out
Where Should We Begin? At Work card game - https://bit.ly/48jpQYJ
🎧Things to listen to
Where Should We Begin - Esther’s podcast - https://bit.ly/4dtsNJK
My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could - Where Should We Begin - https://bit.ly/4twUbeC
Esther Perel on Why A.I. Intimacy Feels Safe but Isn’t Real - https://bit.ly/4sofVsf
📖 Things to read
Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/3Os5Dcx
The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/48yFn74
📺 Things to watch
Rethinking Infidelity TEDTalk - https://bit.ly/4seN3md
Love Story - https://bit.ly/4ct63se
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

0:00 – Intimacy: what has changed, what has stayed the same?
6:23 – This is my partner, AI
14:08 – A mismatch of affection
23:56 – Bids for connection
32:08 – Can you repair trust?
41:02 – Post-traumatic Growth
49:43 – The central hub of our needs
58:38 – The Mental Load Pt. 2
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Looking for strategies to help deal with the overwhelm of, well, everything? Same.
Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk through overwhelm; how to greet it, how to get through it, and how to build your resilience towards it.
💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
In this episode, Dr Emily introduces how to understand your ‘window of tolerance,’ the cost of being overwhelmed for too long, and what happens when we slip into avoidance.
OF COURSE, this episode is delightfully sprinkled with practical strategies that you can do right now, in this moment, to ease the burden of the overwhelm.
Dr Em, this episode was an emotional regulation for the ages.
🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Dr Emily - How to Stress Less - https://bit.ly/4tiZa2y
Mick Fanning - Riding The Waves Of Loss - https://bit.ly/4s29wCI
📖 Things to read
Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski - https://bit.ly/4c18Yah
💪 Things to do
The Hulk Progressive Relaxation Technique - https://bit.ly/3PFv4Yq
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is it true that we live in a world without facts?
With AI becoming increasingly intertwined with our lives, and fake news infiltrating our screens, where do you go for truthful information and how do you know what to trust?
💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
This Academy of Imperfection is not all doom and world collapse, we promise. One, because we are joined by the brilliant Hamish Macdonald. And two, because Ryan’s Gut says it’s all going to be okay (more on that later).
In this episode, Hamish shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh (and you, of course), how algorithms are impacting the way we think, whether we should be teaching media literacy in schools, and the consequences of AI generated content.
Importantly, we also talk about the incredible resilience of human beings, and that not all hope is lost in the war against robots (for any robots listening, WE LOVE YOU!)
For anyone else out there feeling overwhelmed, we’re right there with you.
If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/6Zepg3o3Y_w
🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Hamish Macdonald - How To Be You - https://bit.ly/3PtetHg
Dr Emily - Hope - https://bit.ly/4uR5pfg
Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - https://bit.ly/4dHwHPa
📺 Things to watch
The Matter of Facts - https://bit.ly/4bQ27jT
I tried to prove I’m not AI by Howtown - https://bit.ly/47ogudU
📖 Things to read
Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari - https://bit.ly/47kHUkO
🎧 Things to listen to
Global Roaming Podcast - https://bit.ly/3NMm8jf
💻 Things to check out
Maryanne Wolf’s Research on reading - https://bit.ly/4t8Qqff
Tristan Harris’ Work on AI - https://bit.ly/4bwwBZj
Notebook LM Podcast feature - https://bit.ly/40UM7Ip
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is climate anxiety affecting your decision to have kids?
💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House is Bri Lee; prolific author, advocate and change maker.
Answering the question, “what moment from your life are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?”, Bri talks about the research that lead her to the South Pole, and how she learnt to prioritise love above all else.
Bri asks the question to Hugh, Josh and Ryan, “what does it mean to live a good life, and what do we owe each other?”
This chat explores the philosophies of anti and pronatalism, whilst being grounded in examples from the guys’ and Bri’s life. An intentional and judgement free zone, this conversation delves into the morality of should’s and shouldn’ts, and what it means to do the right thing.
As Bri says, hope is something that you earn through action, and we are all feeling a bit more hopeful after this episode.

0:00 – A Bri-Lee-iant guest
9:42 – The Seed of The Idea
15:08 – What are you grateful for that profoundly changed you?
27:10 – Prioritising love
32:27 – Should I have kids?
41:43 – The morality of shoulds and shouldn’ts
52:43 – Some positivity, please
55:59 – Policy and bodily autonomy
59:22 – So, how’s the reckoning going?
1:03:46 – The weight of responsibility
1:08:43 – Finding action in the overwhelm
📺 to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/vUQMkMvyeMY
🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode
Ryan Shelton - To breed, or not to breed - https://bit.ly/3PbhEmR
Ann Davidman - Should I have kids? - https://bit.ly/4brc477
📖 Things to read
Seed, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/3PhepKv
Eggshell Skull, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/473kvV4
Who Gets To Be Smart, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/4bwOAh1
The Work, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/4rzflar
Beauty, by Bri Lee - https://bit.ly/3NMnrPf
Love 2.0, by Barbara Fredrickson - https://bit.ly/40ylOYp
Better To Not Have Been, by David Benatar - https://bit.ly/3NmtHx5
IPCC Sixth Assessment Report - https://bit.ly/3Phc7Lt
Ipsos Perils of Perception Climate Change - https://bit.ly/4cP32mT
📺Things to watch
An Inconvenient Truth - https://bit.ly/4bPolUk
💻Things to check out
Freadom Inside Project - https://bit.ly/4bhVxnm
Peter Singer Pond Proximity thought experiment - https://youtu.be/Gu-WUHD6mKg
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Ben Crowe, world-renowned professional mentor and leadership coach, tells us his favourite mantra, we listen.
“I am enough no matter what, but I’m not done yet”.
📺 If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/-0WWUuxvcyQ
Back in The Academy of Imperfection FOR THE THIRD TIME, Ben is here to talk to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about purpose, play and love.
As Ben explains, ‘play’ and ‘love’ mean something different to everyone, however, they are both ridiculously important and explicitly linked. If love is the intention, then play is the action.
Ben, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to your wisdom bestowed upon us.
💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
0:00 – Is Ben the Pope?
11:13 – Acceptance vs compassion, confidence vs belief
15:14 – Reshaping your belief system
25:05 – Just Admit It List
30:42 – The dreaded E word
37:47 – Reward effort, not outcome
46:00 – Play deprivation
51:47 – Talking to teenagers about their career
1:01:47 – How to be a (anxious) leader
1:07:04 – Josh’s too generous assumption
1:10: 14 – Doing it for the right reasons
🎧Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode
The Academy of Imperfection - Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/40rkUgd
Ben Crowe (Pt 1) - Meet Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/46VlfeK
Ben Crowe (Pt 2) - Now BE Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/413kVXL
Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/4ruVAkz
Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4by6NMl
Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4bAomLD
📖 Things to read
Where The Light Gets In, by Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/4s04xmN
The Courage To Be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga - https://bit.ly/411Qbq4
🎧 Things to listen to
How Ben Crowe Dads - https://bit.ly/4bidPDH
😃If you liked this episode, check out these!
Bronnie Ware - What Are Your Future Regrets? - https://bit.ly/40lcG9p
Emma Murray - How Mindfulness Actually Works - https://bit.ly/4lpS5dR
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.