Dating Intentionally

What if building a lasting relationship has less to do with falling in love and more to do with knowing yourself, choosing the right person, and learning how to love someone who is different from you? In this episode, I’m talking with relationship expert Kristy Scher about why we can’t rely on chemistry and the excitement of falling in love alone to build a lasting relationship, and how developing self-awareness and taking responsibility for our own behavior can change the way we show up in relationships.
Kristy breaks down the difference between falling in love and mature love, why disillusionment is a necessary part of building intimacy, and how learning to tolerate discomfort and embrace our differences can help us create deeper, more connected relationships.
We’re getting into how to...
Find the right fit instead of getting swept up in the intensity of falling in love
Understand the three essentials of a lasting partnership: love, lust, and like
Move through disillusionment and build mature love
Stay true to yourself while making room for your partner to be different
Recognize how social media shapes our views of relationships and gender
Understand how childhood experiences and personal wounds affect our relationships
Take responsibility for your own behavior instead of focusing only on your partner’s flaws
Appreciate your partner’s efforts while giving grace without dropping your standards
Get comfortable with silence and stop feeling responsible for carrying every conversation
Stop imagining a future with someone before you know them and learn to tolerate uncertainty in dating

Plus, Kristy and I answer a dating dilemma from a 26-year-old man who wants a serious relationship but finds himself imagining a future with women before he even knows them. We talk about why the desire for connection can make us rush ahead, how to get curious about our own unmet needs, and why taking the time to discover whether someone is actually right for you matters more than simply finding someone who’s available.

MENTIONED
Kristy’s year-long program: The Way of the Adored Woman™
Kristy’s Instagram

MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Book a 1:1 with me
Submit a dating dilemma
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever gone on what felt like a really good date, only to get the dreaded “I had a great time, but I didn’t feel a romantic connection” text afterward?
In this episode, I’m breaking down what actually creates romantic connection in early dating and 10 ways to make it easier for that connection to develop without forcing chemistry, performing, or trying to convince someone to like you.
I’m getting into...
What a romantic connection actually feels like in the first few dates
Why a great conversation doesn’t always translate into romantic chemistry
Why first dates can feel more like performances than real connection
The interview, audition, and evaluation date traps that keep dates feeling platonic
Why playing it cool and waiting for the other person to make every move can kill momentum
How compliments, vulnerability, and follow-up questions create more connection
Why showing more of your personality makes you more attractive to the right people
The role texting and between-date communication plays in building momentum
Why physical touch and flirting matter and how to do both without making things overly sexual
How being honest about your interest can make dating feel less confusing
Why talking about your goals and dreams can create surprising intimacy
How to give someone more access to the real you without oversharing
Why your job isn’t to make someone like you, but to make it possible for them to actually get to know you
Plus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener wondering how to embrace a slow burn when the person she’s dating is still seeing other people, including how to think about exclusivity, sex, and boundaries in early dating.

MENTIONED IN THIS EP
Ep 211 on flirting w/ Francesca Hogi
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Book a 1:1 with me
Submit a dating dilemma
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if getting divorced wasn’t the end of your love story, but a chance to rebuild your life and learn to date in a completely different way? In this episode, I’m talking with dating-after-divorce creator Alex Daly about dating after divorce, rebuilding your life from scratch, and how approaching dating with curiosity and an experimental mindset can help you figure out what you actually want.
Alex shares her experience of getting divorced in her late 30s, moving to a new city, and re-entering the dating world after a long break. We’re talking about her Hoe era, why dating doesn’t have to be so serious, and how letting go of the pressure to find a relationship can actually create space for a connection to develop naturally. We’re getting into how to...
Rebuild your life and approach dating after divorce
Use dating as an opportunity to explore what you actually want
Have a "Hoe era" without shame, guilt, or putting pressure on yourself to find a relationship
Date safely and have conversations about sexual health
Handle ghosting and other disappointing parts of dating without taking them personally
Let go of arbitrary dating rules and take an experimental approach instead
Know when it’s time to try dating outside of your usual “type”
Transition from enjoying your single life into a relationship without rushing it
Have check-in conversations with a new partner without turning them into pressure-filled “what are we?” conversations
Look at your own patterns and take responsibility for how you show up in relationships
Talk about divorce in early dating without oversharing or bad-mouthing your ex
Build a relationship differently after learning from what didn’t work in the past
Trust that it’s never too late to start over, date, explore, or find love
Plus, Alex and I answer a dating dilemma from a listener who has spent years repeating a cycle with her ex-husband and continues to find herself attracted to men who don’t choose her.
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Book a 1:1 with me
Submit a dating dilemma
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How fast should a relationship actually move? In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the trickiest parts of early dating: what to do when you and the person you’re dating aren’t moving at the same pace. We’ll talk about why pacing mismatches are so normal, how to tell when a relationship is simply moving slowly versus going nowhere, and how to navigate it when one person is ready for the next step before the other.
I'm getting into...
Why there’s no universal timeline for becoming official, having sex, saying “I love you,” or hitting other relationship milestones
The difference between a pacing mismatch and a pacing problem
Why wanting the same relationship but moving at different speeds can still work
How to talk about pacing without turning every date into a relationship check-in
What to say when you need more time or when you’re the one waiting
Why someone moving slowly doesn’t necessarily mean they’re less interested in you
How to know when “slow” has become stagnant
The five areas of a relationship where you should still see some forward motion
Why catching feelings makes pacing feel so much more stressful
How to stay present and keep vetting someone instead of obsessing over the next milestone
Plus, I answer a Dating Dilemma from a listener whose two past connections unexpectedly came back into her life.
MENTIONED:
The Slow Burn Masterclass: How To Stop Rushing Connections - live on 10/19!
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Book a 1:1 with me
Submit a dating dilemma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do so many couples who believe in equality still end up falling into traditional gender roles? I’m joined by Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez, author of The Ambition Penalty, to talk about what happens when money, ambition, power, and gender collide in dating and relationships.
We get into why women’s success can create unexpected tension in heterosexual relationships, what happens when a woman earns more than her male partner, and why saying you want an equal relationship is very different from building one in practice. We also talk about dating when you’re financially successful, expanding what it means to “provide,” when to start talking about money, and how to think about a partner who isn’t where you want them to be financially.
In this episode...
Why modern couples still fall into traditional gender roles
What can happen when a woman earns more than her male partner
Why believing in equality doesn’t automatically create an equal relationship
What real support for an ambitious partner looks like in practice
Why “providing” in a relationship should mean much more than money
When and how to start talking about salary, debt, savings, and finances while dating
How to date someone who is financially behind without dating their potential
Why having a full life and strong community outside your relationship matters

MENTIONED
Stefanie’s Substack, Too Ambitious
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS
😎 Zenni: Get 15% off your first order and free shipping on orders over $65
MORE FROM DATING INTENTIONALLY
Date Tracker: Start your 7-day free trial! (iOS link)
Take the quiz: What's holding you back in dating?
Say hi on Instagram
Book a 1:1 with me
Submit a dating dilemma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.