No Guilt Mom | Overcoming Mom Guilt, Parenting Tips, & Self Care for Moms

You know that feeling when you say, “He helps.”

He does chores. He shows up. He’s not checked out.

And yet… you’re still exhausted.

If that’s you, you are not ungrateful. You are not asking for too much. And you are not broken.

In this episode, JoAnn sits down with comedian, actor, and author Jordan Carlos to talk about invisible work in marriage — what it really is, why “helping” still leaves one partner carrying the mental load, and what true responsibility sharing actually looks like in everyday family life.

Because the problem isn’t whether the dishes get done.

The problem is who is still managing the fact that they need to get done.

Jordan shares candidly about his own marriage, how COVID forced him to see the invisible labor his wife was carrying, and the mindset shift that moved him from “assistant” to actual partner.

This conversation is honest, funny, and practical — and it will help you rethink how responsibility lives in your home.

What We Cover in This Episode

1. What Invisible Work Really Is

Invisible work isn’t just chores. It’s tracking schedules, noticing when you’re low on toothpaste, remembering spirit days, and managing the emotional temperature of the house.

When one partner carries the mental load — even if the other “helps” — burnout and resentment quietly build.

2. Why “Helping” Keeps One Person in Charge

When someone helps, there is still a manager.

Delegating

Noticing

Reminding

Carrying responsibility if something falls through

Jordan talks about the moment he realized he was “redundant” in his own home — and how that realization changed everything.

3. The Resentment Signal

Resentment doesn’t show up overnight. It builds in the sighs, the tension, and the feeling of being alone in daily life.

Small shifts — like doing things without being asked — can dramatically lower that emotional temperature.

4. Responsibility Sharing vs. 50/50

What’s equal isn’t always fair. And what’s fair isn’t always equal.

True partnership isn’t about splitting every task down the middle. It’s about shared ownership. It’s about both adults seeing the home as theirs to steward.

Jordan shares how stepping into responsibility — not waiting for instructions — shifted his marriage in meaningful ways.

5. Why Self-Care Supports Partnership

When both partners take care of themselves, they show up better in the relationship.

Responsibility sharing doesn’t mean depletion. It means two adults who are capable, aware, and engaged.

Why This Episode Matters

So many overwhelmed moms feel guilty for wanting more support.

“He does a lot already.”

“I don’t want to nag.”

“Maybe this is just marriage.”

But when invisible work stays invisible, emotional disconnection grows.

This episode gives language to what you may have been feeling for years. It also gives you a starting place — not to control your partner, but to shift how responsibility is shared in your home.

Partnership isn’t about doing more. It’s about no longer carrying it alone.

Resources Mentioned


Chore Play: The Marriage Saving Magic of Getting Your Head Out of Your Ass by Jordan Carlos


Jordan Carlos— comedian, actor, and writer (The Nightly Show, Black Mirror, Everything’s Trash)

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You finally get everyone to bed. The house is quiet. No one is asking you for anything.

And instead of going to sleep… you stay up.

Maybe you scroll. Maybe you watch a show. Maybe you tackle that project that’s been swirling in your head all day. It feels like the only time that’s actually yours.

But the next morning? You’re exhausted. Snappier. Less patient. And wondering why everything feels so much harder.

In this episode, we’re talking about why you stay up too late — and what that lack of sleep is really doing to your emotional regulation, productivity, and mental health. Because this isn’t about being “bad at time management.” It’s about the very real tug-of-war happening inside you between rest and freedom.

And when you understand that conflict, you can finally stop sacrificing sleep just to feel like a person again.

In This Episode, We Cover:

Why staying up late feels like the only time that belongs to you

The connection between sleep and emotional regulation (and why you’re more triggered when you’re tired)

How sleep impacts stress, patience, productivity, and long-term wellness

The hidden “two parts” conflict between rest and personal freedom

A simple negotiation exercise to help you stop fighting yourself at night

Why treating rest as preventative care changes everything

How your sleep environment can make or break your wind-down routine

Why This Matters

When you’re tired, everything hits harder. Small frustrations feel enormous. You react faster. You recover slower. That’s not a character flaw — that’s biology.

Sleep affects your mental health, your parenting, your relationships, your stress levels, and even your long-term brain health. And yet, so many moms sacrifice it because it feels like the only way to reclaim time for themselves.

You don’t have to choose between rest and freedom. With the right structure and awareness, you can have both.

Resources Mentioned:

ADHD Love on Instagram:

Get Your free ticket to the Happy Mom Summit

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker PhD

No Guilt Mom Inner Circle


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How to Support Your LGBTQ Child Without Saying the Wrong Thing with Heather Hester

Supporting your LGBTQ child can feel terrifying—not because you don’t love them, but because you do, and you’re afraid of messing it up.

So many moms tell me the same thing: they want to be supportive, but they feel frozen. What if they say the wrong thing? What if they accidentally hurt their child? What if their child thinks they don’t truly accept them?

If that’s you, this episode is here to help.

In today’s conversation, I’m joined by Heather Hester, host of the podcast More Human, More Kind and author of Parenting with Pride. Heather helps parents move from fear into informed love—with clarity, compassion, and courage. Together, we talk about how to show up for your child even when you’re scared, without needing perfect words or performative allyship.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode


The biggest fear that keeps supportive parents silent and why worrying about “saying the wrong thing” doesn’t mean you’re failing your child.


The difference between being a supportive ally and a performative one, and how to show up in ways that actually feel authentic to you.


Three mindset shifts that help you support your LGBTQ child with confidence:

Embracing being messy and imperfect

Understanding that it’s not your child’s job to teach you—it’s your responsibility to learn

Believing your child when they tell you who they are


What to say when you don’t know what to say, including simple language you can return to when fear takes over.


How fear shows up in your body and why recognizing your stress response helps you choose connection instead of panic.

Why This Episode Matters

Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect.

They need you to be present. They need you to be willing. And they need you to keep coming back—even when you stumble.

This episode is about letting go of the pressure to “get it right” and replacing it with something more powerful: connection, repair, and courage.

Resources Mentioned

Heather's podcast More Human, More Kind

Parenting with Pride by Heather Hester

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Work stress doesn’t stay neatly at work.

It follows you home. It shows up in the tone of your voice, the snap of your patience, and that feeling of being “on edge” even when nothing is technically wrong. If you’ve ever walked through the door already exhausted, replaying work conversations in your head while your kids need you now, this episode is for you.

In this conversation, I sit down with psychologist Guy Winch, author of Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life, to talk about why work stress hits moms so hard—and what actually helps. We go beyond “just relax” and get into the science of emotional health, burnout, and how stress quietly spills into parenting and family dynamics.

This episode is especially for moms who are high achievers, caregivers, and the emotional glue holding everything together—at work and at home.

In this episode, we talk about:

Why ruminating about work is actually unpaid overtime—and how it drains your patience at home

How burnout moves in both directions, from work to parenting and back again

The science behind why your body stays in “battle mode” long after the workday ends

Simple, realistic transition rituals that help your brain shift from work mode to home mode

Why taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s protective for your emotional health

How a parent’s stress affects the entire household, even when you think you’re hiding it

What to do when you’re so burnt out that taking action feels impossible

Why this conversation matters

So many moms blame themselves for snapping, zoning out, or feeling disconnected at home—when the real issue is chronic stress and emotional overload. Guy explains why this isn’t a personal failure, but a nervous system problem that needs support, structure, and intention.

You’ll walk away with language to understand what’s happening inside you—and practical ways to stop work stress from hijacking your home life.

About today’s guest

Guy Winch is a psychologist and leading voice in emotional health. He brings science-backed tools to everyday struggles like burnout, rumination, and emotional exhaustion. His book, Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life, explores how modern work culture affects mental health—and what we can realistically do about it.

Resources Mentioned

Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life

Thank You To Our Sponsors

Cash App

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If you’re co-parenting after separation or divorce, you’ve probably realized something no one really prepares you for:

The relationship doesn’t end… it just changes shape.

And suddenly, every text about pickup times, school forms, or “did you send the sweatshirt back?” feels emotionally loaded. Not because you’re arguing about sweatshirts—but because separation brings grief, fear, anger, and unfinished emotional business into everyday communication.

In this episode of the No Guilt Mom Podcast, I’m joined by Gabriella Pomare, family lawyer, award-winning author of The Collaborative Co-Parent, and co-parenting advocate. We talk about what actually works when communication breaks down—especially if your ex is difficult, high-conflict, or completely uncooperative.

Because co-parenting isn’t about being friends.
It’s about structure, boundaries, and emotional safety for your kids—without you carrying the entire emotional load.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1) Why communication falls apart after separation (even when you both love your kids)

Gabriella describes separation as a “nervous system earthquake.” When you’re grieving the life you thought you’d have, messages don’t land neutrally anymore. Even something as small as “you’re running late” can feel like criticism, control, or a power struggle.

2) The difference between “moving on” and actually healing

You can look fine on the outside—working, dating, functioning—and still feel your body spike the moment your ex’s name shows up on your phone.

Healing is when you can respond instead of react, stop trying to win, and read a neutral message without creating a high-conflict story in your head.

3) What collaborative co-parenting really means (and what it doesn’t)

Collaborative co-parenting doesn’t mean you’re best friends or agree on everything.

It means consistently making decisions through a child-centered lens, with clear systems that reduce emotional volatility—especially in high-conflict situations. Often, that looks less emotional and more business-like.

4) Boundaries that actually work—and how to handle it when they’re crossed

Boundaries aren’t rules you force on your ex.
They’re commitments you make to yourself.

Gabriella explains how to stop engaging with emotional bait, rehashing the past, and escalating conversations—without creating more conflict.

5) A practical tool for high-conflict co-parenting: communication apps

If your ex sends long, hostile messages or constantly pulls you into conflict, Gabriella recommends using a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard to:

keep communication child-focused

reduce harassment and message flooding

create clear boundaries and documentation

shift communication from emotional to logistical

6) The 4 pillars of co-parent communication

Gabriella’s framework for reducing conflict:

Listen → Pause → Reflect → Respond

The hardest part? The pause.
Because when emotions are high, the instinct is to respond quickly and win. The pause is what breaks the cycle.

7) What kids need most to feel safe across two homes

Kids don’t need perfect parents.

They need predictability, stability, and emotional safety. When kids know what’s happening, who’s picking them up, and that they’re not responsible for adult emotions, they feel more secure—even across two households.

Quick Favor (It Helps More Moms Find This Parenting Support)

If this episode helped you feel less alone, would you take 30 seconds to leave a review for the No Guilt Mom Podcast? Reviews help other overwhelmed moms find this parenting support when they need it most.

Resources Mentioned

Our Family Wizard co-parenting app

Gabriella Pomare’s book: The Collaborative Co-Parent

Join the No Guilt Mom Circle

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