Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

You step in because you love your child.
You pay for treatment again because you’re scared.
You cover the rent because you don’t want them on the street.
You call to check in because something feels “off.”
You offer solutions because you can’t stand watching them struggle.
Of course you do.
But here’s the hard question:
What if, sometimes, the helping is reinforcing learned helplessness?
What if the message, completely unintentionally, becomes: “You can’t handle this without me.”
Learned helplessness doesn’t develop because parents don’t care. It often develops because you care so deeply that you rush in to protect, soften, fix, or prevent discomfort.
If you’ve ever felt torn between protecting your child and preparing them for real life, this conversation is for you.
Seth and I talk about how learned helplessness can form when tasks are repeatedly taken over, when consequences are softened too quickly, or when rescue becomes the pattern. We explore what it actually looks like to allow your teen or young adult child their discovery process, even when that means sitting in your own discomfort.
Because sometimes the most powerful message you can send your struggling teen is:
“I believe you can handle this.”
In this episode on learned helplessness, we discuss:
What learned helplessness is and how it quietly develops in your teen or young adult child;
How loving, generous parenting can unintentionally reinforce helplessness;
The difference between necessary support and rescue;
Why sitting with your own anxiety can change everything;
How to evaluate when to step in, and when to step back;
The long-term impact of allowing your teen to build capability;
And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

You’ve heard me say it over and over again: You have to let go of what is out of your control. But does that mean you just stop parenting? Are you just supposed to sit back and watch your teen or young adult fail and make mistakes?
When you start stepping back from micromanaging, rescuing, and constantly stepping in, it often doesn’t feel like relief. It feels like you’re doing something wrong. You’re not the only one feeling like this. Today’s society reinforces helicopter parenting and letting that go can feel unnatural, confusing, and emotionally intense. 
That’s why Seth and I unpack today why this shift feels so uncomfortable, what teens and young adults actually experience when parents pull back, and how to stay emotionally present while still holding boundaries. 
Letting go doesn’t mean disappearing. It means learning how to support without rescuing, guide without controlling, and stay connected even when things are hard.
In this episode on parenting without helicoptering, we discuss:
Why letting go often makes parents feel like they’re doing nothing;
What teens and young adults experience when parents stop micromanaging and helicoptering;
The difference between emotional support and rescuing;
Why boundaries without follow-through break trust;
How kids sometimes test connection by making it “all or nothing”;
Why consequences can be powerful teachers (even when they’re hard to watch);
How to stay present and supportive without fixing everything;
What it means to parent in the gray area instead of going black-and-white;
And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

The thought of wilderness therapy for your struggling kid can feel simultaneously hopeful and terrifying. Is it too extreme? Is it necessary? How do you even know? And how do you trust the people who would be caring for your child?
In this episode, I sit down with Danny Frazer, one of the founding partners of Open Sky Wilderness Therapy, to talk honestly about what makes wilderness therapy work, and what doesn’t. We explore why Open Sky stood out in the field, what parents should look for in a program, and why the single biggest predictor of success isn’t your teen’s effort… it’s yours.
Danny shares the origin story behind Open Sky’s family-centered model, why enrolling the whole family changes everything, and what he wishes every parent knew before making this incredibly hard decision. We also talk about the grief in the field right now, the contraction of wilderness programs, and why he believes the future still holds hope for nature-based healing.
If you are weighing treatment options for your struggling teen or young adult child, or simply trying to understand what wilderness therapy really involves, this conversation will give you clarity, perspective, and compassion.
In this episode on wilderness therapy for struggling teens, we discuss:
What made Open Sky’s approach different in the wilderness therapy field;
Why parent engagement is the biggest predictor of success in treatment;
How to know when wilderness therapy might be the right next step;
Red flags and green flags to look for in a wilderness program;
The importance of accreditation, transparency, and leadership involvement;
Why most parents don’t regret intervening, even when the decision feels agonizing;
The emotional toll on families (and program leaders) during treatment;
Where wilderness therapy is headed and what the future may look like.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Every day, you’re watching your teen or young adult make choices you wouldn’t make, and feeling the constant pull to intervene. You see the risks. You imagine the consequences. And somewhere along the way, hope for progress turns into pressure for outcomes.
Today, Seth and I talk about what happens when parents become attached to how growth is supposed to look: sobriety first, independence next, emotional maturity on a timeline that makes sense to you. And how easily those expectations, even when they come from love, can turn into frustration, judgment, or disconnection.
This conversation invites you into a different role: one where your job isn’t to manage your teen or young adult’s path, but to stay present while they walk it. We explore why letting go of expectations for your teen doesn’t mean approving of everything they do. There are ways to trust their process and actually protect the relationship long enough for real change to take root.
If you’re exhausted from waiting for things to “click,” confused about what progress even looks like anymore, or afraid that stepping back means failing as a parent, let us offer you a reframe.
In this episode on letting go of expectations for your teen or young adult, we discuss:
The difference between supporting your teen and managing their life;
Why parents often mistake outcomes for growth;
How expectations can quietly turn into pressure, judgment, or enmeshment;
What it means to witness your teen’s discovery process without trying to fix it;
The difference between providing opportunity and controlling direction;
How curiosity builds safety where judgment shuts communication down;
Why connection matters more than getting the “right” result;
And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When your teen is engaging in self-destructive behaviors, what you usually see is the tip of the iceberg. You see the cutting, the substance use, the school refusal, the shutdowns or blowups, and it’s scary, confusing, and exhausting. 
But what’s happening underneath those behaviors is often invisible. Big emotions. Overwhelm. Shame. Anxiety. A nervous system that’s trying to survive. And when all you can see is the behavior, misunderstanding and frustration are almost inevitable.
In this episode, I’m joined by therapist, author, and DBT clinician Katie May to help parents slow down and start understanding self-destructive behaviors in their teen or young adult kid through a very different lens. One rooted in the idea that all behavior makes sense, especially when you understand what it’s doing for them.
We talk about the iceberg analogy and why focusing only on the “tip” keeps parents stuck in fear, power struggles, and reactivity. Katie helps decode behaviors like self-harm, suicidal ideation, substance use, and school avoidance as attempts to regulate overwhelming emotions, not attention-seeking or manipulation.
Let’s have a look at how to respond to destructive behaviors in ways that reduce shame, build trust, and create the conditions for real change.
In this episode on understanding self-destructive behaviors, we discuss:
The iceberg analogy: why behavior is only the tip of what’s really happening;
What “all behavior makes sense” actually means for parents;
How emotional dysregulation fuels self-harm, substance use, and school refusal in teens and young adults;
Why parents often get stuck reacting to behavior instead of responding to their child’s needs;
How your own regulation as a parent can de-escalate intense situations;
Validating your teen’s emotions without excusing harmful behavior;
How boundaries, connection, and repair work together;
And more!

More about Katie May
Katie K. May is a licensed therapist, author, speaker, and group practice owner. She founded Creative Healing, a multi-location teen support center in the Philadelphia area, and wrote the #1 Amazon best-seller You’re On Fire, It’s Fine. With lived experience as a teen who turned to self-harm, Katie is one of only 11 Linehan Board Certified DBT Clinicians in Pennsylvania, the gold standard treatment for self-harm and suicidal behaviors. She equips parents and clinicians with practical, trauma-informed tools to decode behavior as survival and create lasting change. 
Learn more about Katie on her website: https://youreonfireitsfine.com/ or connect with her on Facebook or Instagram.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected]

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.