Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

Why is it that the harder you push for change, the more your teen seems to dig in their heels?
If you've ever found yourself repeating the same conversations, giving advice that goes nowhere, or feeling exhausted by your teen's resistance, you're not alone. Most parents assume that if their child would just understand the consequences of their choices, they'd make better decisions. But change rarely works that way.
In this episode, I sit down with therapist Jarrod Hoffman to explore what motivational interviewing can teach parents about helping teens change behavior. We unpack why lectures, advice, and persuasion often backfire, and why empathy, curiosity, and connection are far more powerful tools for creating lasting change.
Jarrod introduces the stages of change framework and explains how understanding where your teen is in the change process can completely transform the way you communicate with them. Instead of trying to force change before they're ready, you'll learn how to meet them where they are and create the kind of conversations that actually help them move forward.
Most importantly, we discuss why your relationship with your teen cannot be based on whether they change, and why investing in connection may be the most effective way to support growth over the long term.
In this episode on helping teens change behavior, we discuss:
Why parents often become counterproductive when trying to help their teen change
The stages of change and how to recognize where your teen is in the process
What pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance look like in real life
Why advice, lectures, and persuasion often create more resistance
How motivational interviewing can help parents support change more effectively
The difference between self-serving questions and curiosity-driven conversations
Why empathy is often more powerful than information
Practical phrases parents can use to create connection instead of defensiveness
How to reduce power struggles and improve healthy communication with your teen

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

When you grow up inside fear, survival, instability, or emotional chaos, those experiences don’t just disappear when you become an adult. They quietly shape the stories you carry about safety, relationships, success, control, and even what it means to be a “good” parent. And without realizing it, you might begin to pass those same narratives on to your own children.
In this deeply personal and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Kellyn Smythe to explore how intergenerational narratives and trauma get handed down through families, often without anyone consciously intending to do so. Kellyn shares the extraordinary story of growing up under a false identity after his mother fled an abusive relationship, spending years living in hiding, constantly carrying the belief that danger was always just around the corner. And his whole world was turned upside down once again when he learned the truth many years later.
But this episode isn’t just about Kellyn’s story. It’s about all of us.
It’s about the ways fear, anxiety, perfectionism, hypervigilance, and emotional survival patterns quietly move through generations. It’s about recognizing the narratives we inherited from our own parents and asking ourselves whether those stories truly belong to us… or to our children.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s about hope. Because awareness creates choice. And repair, connection, and new relational experiences really can begin changing the story.
In this episode on intergenerational narratives and passing on trauma to our children, we discuss:
How family narratives and survival patterns get passed down through generations
Kellyn’s experience growing up under a hidden identity
The impact of fear, hypervigilance, and perfectionism on parenting
Why many parents unknowingly pass their own anxiety and unresolved trauma onto their children
The connection between intergenerational trauma and family dynamics
How rupture and repair can create deeper connection within families
Why awareness is the first step toward changing generational patterns
The difference between acknowledging painful experiences and making them your identity
How new relational experiences help create healing and emotional resilience
Why repair and authentic connection matter more than perfection in parenting

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Simple tasks that seem easy to you become overwhelming battles for your teen or young adult with ADHD. One small request turns into a massive blow-up. And when we don’t understand the ADHD brain, it can feel like they’re being disrespectful, lazy or even manipulative. 
In today’s episode, I’m joined by therapist and ADHD expert Debbie Murad to unpack what’s really happening underneath ADHD and emotional dysregulation in teens and young adults. Debbie explains why so many ADHD behaviors are misunderstood as intentional defiance when they’re actually rooted in brain development, executive functioning challenges, dopamine regulation, and overwhelm.
We also talk about the emotional toll ADHD takes on teens themselves. Because behind the missed assignments, emotional explosions, forgotten responsibilities, and impulsive behaviors, many teens are silently carrying shame, self-loathing, anxiety, and the exhausting feeling that they can never quite keep up with everyone else.
This conversation is especially important for parents who feel burned out, triggered, confused, or stuck in constant conflict with their teen. Because understanding what’s happening neurologically can completely change the way you respond, and ultimately strengthen the relationship with your child.
In this episode on ADHD and emotional dysregulation in teens, we discuss:
Why ADHD behaviors are often mistaken for disrespect or defiance
What emotional dysregulation actually looks like in teens or young adults with ADHD
The difference between supporting your child and over-accommodating them
Why teens with ADHD can become overwhelmed by seemingly “simple” tasks
How ADHD impacts self-esteem, shame, and relationships
Why parents often take ADHD behaviors personally
The connection between ADHD, impulsivity, dopamine, and addiction risk
How hyperfocus can become both a strength and a challenge
The link between ADHD, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and burnout
How parents can become better advocates for their neurodivergent child
Why mindfulness and emotional regulation work for parents matters too
The importance of helping teens build executive functioning skills instead of doing everything for them
How understanding your child’s brain can transform your relationship with them

More about Debbie Murad
Debbie Murad brings over 30 years of expertise as a Clinical Social Worker, having worked with a wide spectrum of clients, including adolescents struggling with executive functioning, mental health and addiction issues.
As the founder and CEO of Beach Cities Gateway, a transitional program for emerging adults, Debbie specializes in guiding young people through the challenges of mental health, addiction, and executive functioning.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

Summer can feel terrifying when you’re parenting a struggling teen or young adult. The routines disappear. Structure falls away. And suddenly you’re left wondering how to support your child without slipping into control, conflict, or constant anxiety.
And if your teen is coming home from treatment? The pressure can feel even heavier.
Today, I sit down with Hilary Moses to talk about what parents often misunderstand about summer break, especially when supporting a struggling teen during summer break after treatment. Because summer isn’t just “time off.” For many families, it’s a major transition period filled with fear, guilt, uncertainty, and a loss of structure.
We talk about the difference between healthy structure and control, why parents often panic when they see old behaviors resurface, and how to create support systems that actually help your teen build resilience instead of dependence.
Hilary also shares practical ways parents can approach screens, friends, boredom, jobs, driving, boundaries, and expectations during the summer months without falling into exhausting power struggles.
Most importantly, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to create a perfect summer. You're not trying to raise a perfectly compliant child. You are helping a young person slowly learn how to navigate real life with support, structure, and connection.
In this episode on supporting your teen’s transition home from treatment during summer break, we discuss:
Why summer break can feel so destabilizing for struggling teens and families
The hidden challenges of bringing a teen home from treatment during summer
How to create healthy summer structure without micromanaging your teen or young adult child
Supporting your child with jobs, responsibilities, and independence
What parents often misunderstand about motivation and accountability
How to approach “red flag” friendships with more nuance
Why isolation and loneliness are major risks during summer break
How fear pushes parents back into controlling patterns
What healthy boundaries and expectations actually look like at home
Why parents need resilience just as much as their kids do

More about Hilary Moses
Hilary Moses, MSW, LCSW, is a widely-esteemed therapist and parent coach who, throughout her career as a wilderness clinician and program clinical director was among the most highly regarded in the field. Hilary is a national public speaker and presenter, has written and developed parenting and transition curricula, facilitated hundreds of workshops and family seminars, and was an adjunct professor for the Masters in Social Work program at Arizona State University’s Watts College of Public Service and Community Solutions. 
Hilary co-authored, “H.O.M.E: Strategies for Making home a SUCCESS during and after Treatment”.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

You bring your child home from treatment and expect things to get better. But instead, everything feels off. They’re overwhelmed. Irritated. Withdrawn. Maybe even struggling more than you expected. You don’t understand. Why is this so hard? Did we do something wrong?
This special episode will help you understand something most parents never fully see… until now.
Because what your teen experiences coming home from treatment isn’t just a transition. It can feel disorienting, overstimulating, and deeply unsettling in ways that are hard to explain, especially if you’ve never lived it yourself.
Today, I’m joined by Casie Fariello, who shares a deeply personal and unexpected experience that gave her a rare, firsthand understanding of what it actually feels like to lose autonomy, feel stripped of identity, and then try to re-enter everyday life after treatment.
And what she realized changed everything about how she relates to her son.
In this episode on what it feels like to come home from treatment, we discuss:
Casie’s story that gave her a firsthand understanding of what it feels like to transition home from treatment;
Why reintegration after treatment can feel overwhelming, even when your teen “seems fine”;
The loss of autonomy, identity, and safety your child may experience in treatment and how that impacts their behavior at home;
Why your teen may withdraw, resist connection, or seem ungrateful after coming home;
How overstimulation (phones, noise, people) can make early reentry incredibly difficult;
The hidden grief both you and your teen may be carrying after time apart;
Why kids may “check the boxes” in treatment and what that means when they return home;
How your own fear, guilt, and judgment can show up during this phase (and what to do with it);
Simple, powerful ways to support your teen: space, autonomy, and patience;
What it really means to “relearn” how to be a family again after treatment;
And much more.

More about Casie Fariello
Casie is the co-founder of the online parent support group Other Parents Like Me (OPLM.com). She also has a son who went to treatment, including wilderness.

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.

Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

You can support the show by:
Leaving a review
Subscribing to the show

And remember parents, the change begins with us.