The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant

In this episode, I'm joined by Nicole Kalil for a powerful and practical conversation about confidence.
Nicole has spent years studying, researching, and teaching confidence, and she breaks it down in such a grounded way. Instead of seeing confidence as something we fake, perform, or get from the outside world, Nicole defines confidence as firm and bold trust in self.
We talk about how confidence is something many of us are born with, but begin to lose as we absorb expectations, criticism, people-pleasing, perfectionism, comparison, and what Nicole calls "head trash." She shares the five confidence builders that help us rebuild trust with ourselves, including taking action, moving through fear and failure, giving ourselves grace, choosing confidence, and building internal trust one step at a time.
This conversation is such a beautiful reminder that confidence is not about looking perfect or never feeling afraid. It is about knowing who you are, owning who you are not, and choosing to trust yourself as you take the next right step.
Key Takeaways
Confidence is not about looking confident. It is about building firm and bold trust in yourself
Many of us are born trusting ourselves, but life, expectations, criticism, and social conditioning can disconnect us from that trust
Confidence is built through action, especially small, consistent steps toward what matters most
Failure, fear, mistakes, and doubt can build deeper confidence when we learn to move through them instead of avoid them
Giving yourself grace and practicing self-compassion are essential parts of building confidence
Confidence is a choice we can practice moment by moment until the feeling begins to catch up
"Head trash" is the unkind and often untrue inner dialogue that chips away at our self-trust
Perfectionism, comparison, overthinking, and seeking confidence externally can derail confidence
Keeping commitments to yourself helps build internal trust
Real confidence comes from knowing who you are, owning who you are not, and embracing all of it
Resources from this Episode:
Nicole Kalil's Website
Nicole's Podcast, This Is Woman's Work


MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT
Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com
Membership: The Adult Chair Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Today I'm talking about how to move on after you have been hurt.
Whether it is heartbreak, betrayal, disappointment, family pain, friendship breakups, or someone not showing up the way you hoped they would, hurt is part of the human experience. But moving on is not always as simple as forgiving, forgetting, or pretending it did not matter. When we are hurt, the pain can linger, and if we do not know how to work with it, we can start living from the wound instead of from our healthy adult self.
In this episode, I break down why we get stuck in pain, how the ego mind tries to loop, ruminate, and figure everything out, and why old wounds can make present-day hurt feel even more intense. I also walk you through how to move through hurt in a whole-body way by feeling your emotions, stopping the wait for an apology, getting honest about what the experience is teaching you, and letting the pain transform you instead of define you.
Key Takeaways
Moving on after hurt does not mean pretending it did not happen
Hurt can change us, our relationships, and the way we see ourselves if we do not process it
The mind often revisits what the heart has not yet resolved
Rumination is the ego's attempt to figure out, fix, or control emotional pain
Present-day hurt can activate older wounds, including childhood abandonment, betrayal, or shame
If the pain feels disproportionate to what happened, there may be a deeper taproot wound underneath it
Waiting for an apology can keep us stuck in pain, anger, and victim energy
Feeling emotions fully allows the energy of the emotion to move through the body
Healing requires getting radically honest about what the experience is teaching us
Pain can transform us when we use it for growth instead of allowing it to define us
Resources from this Episode:
Get your copy of The Adult Chair® Book here!
 
MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT
Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com
Membership: The Adult Chair® Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In this episode, I'm joined by Ashleigh DiLello, the founder and creator of BioEmotional Healing, for a powerful conversation about the brain, body, nervous system, chronic pain, trauma, and what it really takes to heal.
Ashleigh shares her incredible story of becoming severely ill at just 13 years old, living between life and death for years, and eventually finding her way back to health, dance, and life. After building a successful career as a professional dancer, TV and Broadway performer, wife, and mother, she faced another life-altering health crisis after a failed hip surgery launched her body into chronic pain.
We talk about how the nervous system stores our life experiences, why stress responses can show up as anxiety, perfectionism, chronic pain, autoimmune issues, gut issues, and other symptoms, and why regulating the nervous system is only part of the healing process.
Key Takeaways
The brain-body connection plays a major role in chronic pain, trauma, anxiety, and healing
Long-term survival mode can become familiar to the nervous system, even after the original threat is gone
Stress responses can show up in many ways, including pain, anxiety, perfectionism, depression, OCD behaviors, autoimmune symptoms, gut issues, and more
Regulation helps calm the nervous system in the moment, but rewiring changes the deeper patterns that keep the stress response active
Self-compassion is essential for nervous system rewiring because harsh self-criticism keeps the brain in a protective state
Healing requires rebuilding trust with yourself, your body, and your ability to create a new identity
We can honor what we have been through without allowing it to define the rest of our lives

Resources from this Episode:
Ashleigh DiLello's Website
Free Brain-Body Blueprint
Instagram: @ashleighdilello
 
MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT
Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com
Membership: The Adult Chair Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

Today, I'm breaking down a topic that comes up all the time: narcissism.
This is a word we hear everywhere now, especially online and on social media, but it is often misunderstood and overused. In this episode, I explain what narcissism really is, what narcissistic traits can look like, where they come from, and how to know the difference between narcissistic tendencies and narcissistic personality disorder.
I also answer some of the biggest questions I receive around this topic: Can someone heal from narcissism? How do you know if you are a narcissist? Why do you keep attracting narcissistic relationships? Can you change a narcissistic partner? And how do you navigate a relationship with a narcissistic parent?
This episode is not about labeling or blaming. It is about understanding the deeper shame, wounding, and identity patterns underneath narcissism, while also learning how to protect your energy, build your self-worth, and create healthier relationships from your Adult Chair.
Key Takeaways
Narcissism is a term that is often overused, especially online and on social media
Narcissistic traits can include needing to be the center of attention, lacking empathy, deflecting criticism, and struggling to take responsibility
Underneath narcissistic behavior is often deep shame and a false identity built around being seen as special, perfect, or superior
Narcissism can develop when a child is placed on a pedestal or when a child is neglected and creates a false self to survive
Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum, and narcissistic personality disorder is at the far end of that spectrum
If someone is genuinely worried they may be a narcissist, that awareness is often a hopeful sign
You cannot change a narcissistic partner unless they truly want to do their own inner work
Repeatedly attracting narcissistic relationships often points to old wounds, beliefs, and patterns that need to be updated
When a parent is narcissistic, healing often requires grief, boundaries, self-worth work, and sometimes no contact
Resources from this Episode:
Free Self-Worth Course
The Adult Chair® Collective
MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT
Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com
Membership: The Adult Chair Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant

In this episode, I'm joined by Jeffrey Stegman and Clayten Stedmann, the co-founders of FLFE, which stands for Focused Life Force Energy.
This is such a fascinating conversation about consciousness, energy, EMFs, and what happens when we create a higher-consciousness environment in our homes, businesses, and everyday lives. Jeffrey and Clayten share the story of how FLFE began, how they came together through business coaching and consciousness work, and how this technology is designed to support a field of unconditional love in a specific location.
We talk about the Hawkins Scale of Consciousness, how environments can affect our nervous system, why EMFs may be impacting us more than we realize, and how high-consciousness fields can support calm, sleep, forgiveness, emotional regulation, and a greater sense of well-being.
This conversation is a beautiful reminder that we are energy first, and the spaces we live in matter more than we often realize.
Key Takeaways
FLFE is designed to support a high-consciousness field in a home, business, or around a cell phone
Jeffrey and Clayten describe FLFE as a technology that associates focused life force energy with a specific location or identifier
Our environments can deeply influence our nervous systems, emotions, sleep, focus, and overall well-being
EMFs from Wi-Fi, cell phones, smart meters, appliances, and other modern technology may contribute to dysregulation for some people
A high-consciousness environment can help support peace, calm, emotional regulation, and a greater ability to shift negative thoughts
The Hawkins Scale of Consciousness offers a way to understand different emotional and energetic states, from shame and fear to love, peace, and enlightenment
Michelle shares her personal experience using FLFE after living near power lines and noticing a major shift in her energy
Consciousness work invites us to become more curious about the energy around us and how it affects our lives
Resources from this Episode:
FLFE Free Trial: Get your 15-day free trial here.
Visit the FLFE website
 
MORE MICHELLE CHALFANT
Website: https://www.michellechalfant.com
Membership: The Adult Chair Collective
https://www.michellechalfant.com/collective 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant