DATE YOUR WIFE

*Encore presentation from August 28, 2018.* Garrett and Dannielle discuss the importance of getting away as a couple in this week’s episode.   ____________________________________________________________________ Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Reconnection Brings Rejuvenation Danielle:    I think it’s crucial to have time together to reconnect so that when you go back home to the kids, you are rejuvenated. When your relationship is on point, kids notice. They can pick up on the energy between you and your significant other. QUESTION How do you show each other that remembering your anniversary is important to you? Point #2: Mommy Guilt  Danielle: Mommy guilt happens to all the moms I talk to. Even though you’re excited to get away, and you end up having a great time, there’s always this weird anxiety leading up to the vacation. I feel that anxiety never really goes away unless you just push forward. You have to go on these trips and realize that your kids are going to be just fine. QUESTION How do you as a couple deal with two different visions of where to invest your money? Point #3: Hiring Help Garrett: Can you see how your entire world has been held hostage by the fact that the only people you will trust to watch your children are your parents? The entire game from a guy’s perspective comes down to you as a man creating space for your wife. One of the big hurdles you’re going to have to overcome is getting your wife to be okay with hiring help that is not free, and that is not part of the family. QUESTION How do you and your wife feel about hiring help other than your family” Point #4: Cashing In Chips Danielle: Free help is never free. I feel like there is this debt with the Universe with family. “I watched your kids, so now you have to watch mine.” “I brought you dinner, so you have to bring me dinner, too.” There’s always this unspoken feeling of cashing in of favors with family and close friends. There’s no such thing as free help when you go into it with the mindset of, “I will do this for you if you do this for me.” QUESTION How often do you use your parents and friends instead of hiring someone? Point #5: What’s Important to You? Garrett: Some guys say, ” I don’t have enough money to get a babysitter!” I say bullshit. You have enough money to put gas in your car, and you’ll have enough money to get what you believe is important to you. Space away from the kids creates perspective and power; perspective on your children, perspective on you as a couple, and perspective on your life. QUESTION What are your priorities? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation around the topic of Free Help vs Hired Help. Date Night Topic: Talk about the places you would like to go on your quarterly trips together, set the dates, and begin making plans for them. Quote of the Week: “When you move away from working  in  the family and  in  the relationship, and start to work  on  the relationship and  on  the family by taking trips and date nights away, you gain perspective. And that perspective is your power.” — Garrett J White “All you ladies out there, stop trying to be superwoman. It’s not serving you. Surrender to the fact that date nights are important and vacations are important, regardless of the anxiety you have surrounding your children. Guess what? You’re not the only one that can parent your children. — Danielle K White

*Encore episode from January 2019.* This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White’s are attending Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they’ve been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony’s events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit Personal development hasn’t always been at the top of Danielle’s list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees. “Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out.” QUESTION What experiences have you had with personal development events? Point #2: Date With Destiny After viewing Tony Robbin’s “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony’s approach actually made sense to her. “It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit.” As fate would have it, Tony’s son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony’s next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away. QUESTION Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny? Point #3: How Big Can You Dream? Danielle’s experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the  biggest  impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted. From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some  major  decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some  huge shifts  for them that year. QUESTION Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something?   Point #4: Give Yourself Permission Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family. Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain. QUESTION Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts?   Point #5: It’s in the Numbers The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she’s got to know her numbers better than she does. Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught,” As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do a bout  the numbers that you see.” QUESTION What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do  about  them? Communication Challenge: Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you’d like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back. Date Night Topic: Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment. Quote of the Week: “The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you’re either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise.” — Garrett J White “ It was an “against all odds” situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us.” — Danielle K White  

*Encore presentation from May 15, 2018* Welcome to this week’s steamy episode of the Date Your Wife podcast sponsored by DKW Styling and featuring dual producers inside the game of business, money, and life – Danielle K and Garrett J White – who are keeping it real and raw no matter what level of success they achieve. Although today’s topic is one of the tougher topics for many couples to get real about, the Whites break down all barriers and bares all in this week’s enlightening, revealing and transparent conversation about sex. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….SEX Point #1: Ass Cheeks ‘n Thongs Danielle: We were at Cabo, lots of sex, no kids, drinking gin, and this medium-looking girl walks by with her guy, she’s wearing a thong and has a tiny bum – even  I  noticed. It’s when your head followed and you kept following. Usually, you’re super respectful. But you kept prolonging that ass. Garrett: You caught me on that one. You do have control over how long you entertain, but you have zero control over the fact that if nine sets of ass cheeks are walking by you, and you’re sitting there with your wife whose ass cheeks you love, as a guy in that environment it is a work of art to try to NOT do two things: #1- look, #2- try to not be weird about it when you’re with your wife. QUESTION How do you feel about prolongued looks at the opposite sex by your partner? Point #2:  Sexual Triggers Danielle: Being turned on by a guy is all about how he carries himself; it’s all about his energy and not about the idea of having sex with him. You might get butterflies and think, ‘oh he’s cute,’ but usually you never entertain it until later when it comes up and you wonder why you’re so horny. Garrett: As guys, we have a   very different challenge because we are constantly being stimulated. You can be at church and a woman walks by wearing a shirt where her nipples are protruding and you can be a super committed loyal man to your wife, and nonetheless, you are sexually triggered. QUESTION What triggers you sexually? Point #3: Finding Your Inner Stripper For years, Garrett wanted Danielle to send him sexy photos of herself, but for a long time, she wasn’t about that. She eventually had a boudoir photoshoot that was not only for Garrett, but it also helped her find her inner stripper and channel more of her sexual being. “When I’m learning and growing in life, I’ll do things to get out of my comfort zone because it pisses me off that I’m operating in a certain way. Doing the pictures made me nervous but I decided to just do it. It gives you permission to roleplay and it spices things up a little bit.” QUESTION What is something you can do this week to step out of your comfort zone in your relationship? Point #4: Reflection in the Mirror Garrett: It’s very difficult for a guy to have his thoughts in check if he’s not getting laid. As a guy, you are naturally sexually charged and if you and your wife are not having sex for whatever reason – if physical intimacy is not happening – his sexual energy goes even higher, which is what leads a man to go porn and masturbation, which ultimately leads to a bigger problem. Ladies, if you shame and guilt your husband because he’s looking at porn, I’d invite you to look in the mirror at how you’re showing up. The majority of men are looking at porn because they are not getting their sexual and emotional needs met at home – the relationship sex game is horseshit and not working out. QUESTION Ladies, how are you showing up sexually for your husband? Point #5: Road to Nowhere With consistent porn consumption and masturbation, you will stop putting your sexual energy towards your wife. You deplete all of your sexual energy into the computer and into your cell phone, and through masturbation, you literally push your energy away into the nothing. There’s no exchange of energy. Garrett: “Looking at porn and masturbating is a hollow experience. When I would go through these times of looking at porn and masturbating because Danielle and I were not on the same page, I would feel bad, alone and isolated. Turning to porn made it worse because I would start feeling even more resentment towards Danielle.” QUESTION Gentlemen, where are you in the porn/masturbation cycle? How are your actions affecting your wife and your relationship? Communication Challenge: Ladies, how can you use sex as a tool and as a connecting piece to restore order in the relationship? Date Night Topic: Do a little role playing on your next Date Night to channel your inner stripper and add a little spice to the mix. Quote of the Week: “Guys, at the end of the day, keep all of that sexual energy in because it forces you to get committed to getting laid. This is what I have noticed for myself. If I keep all the sexual energy inside of me by not masturbating or looking at porn, then it forces me to focus all that energy on Danielle.” — Garrett J White “Take the time to connect. Even if you’re working a lot and don’t see each other often, your relationship can only be as good as you’re willing to work on it. If you’re willing to cross the line for each other and not let it get too far disconnected, you can always stay in a good space. It’s when you let it go too far that it takes that much longer to repair it and get back up. It’s always a work in progress.” — Danielle K White

*Encore presentation from May of 2019* The conversation about the game of money is this week’s topic of the Date Your Wife podcast, a topic which proves to be a spicy one for married co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White .  Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Saving & Investing As Danielle steps back and looks at their amazing businesses and lifestyle, she is curious if there is a way to start putting more money into other areas, like savings, in addition to life insurance. She wonders if she is ignoring signs from their past mistakes, knowing that their current lifestyle is more abundant than ever before. Garrett: My wife has pushed for our life to rise over and over again. At this point, we save  more  money than we’ve ever saved in our whole lives. I’ve also gone from only investing in the business to investing in the family. QUESTION How are you doing in the area of savings? How long would you be able to sustain your lifestyle if the money stopped coming in tomorrow? Point #2: Obsession The challenge inside of marriage when it comes to the topic of money is this: making money, growing money, keeping money, and leveraging money. Seventeen years ago, after reading the book, ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad,’ Garrett realized for the first time that he could make money and became obsessed with it. He went back and forth between the hustle mode of making money and the phase of growing money as he built teams and processes, which led him to the game of keeping money. Over the past several years, he has invested and put strategies into place, which have benefited them in massive ways inside of their bank accounts and savings vaults. QUESTION Where are you as a couple when it comes to making & keeping money?   Point #3: Building a Legacy Danielle: We live an amazing lifestyle. I’m at the point where I want to be able to build a legacy, an empire. If we stopped working ten years from now, I want to know that we could still live our amazing lifestyle for years to come  plus  help our children if we needed to. My parents live well, but they can’t stop working. My dad is 69 and is still building custom homes because they have to continue working to maintain their lifestyle. I look at our parents and don’t want to live like either of them. QUESTION What do you ultimately desire?   Point #4: A Team Effort Danielle: Ladies, money is a tough conversation. Whether you’re a woman who can take care of herself, or you’re the Mom CEO of the family, it’s nice to have a guy that takes care of you. I also want to be a part of this team effort and part of the decisions. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be naive about what’s going on. QUESTION How do you handle money decisions in your relationship? Point #5: Maintain or Increase? Garrett to Danielle: Would you be willing to maintain our current lifestyle even though our businesses are increasing in revenue? We would maintain our current game, and everything else would go pure cash with no expense increase whatsoever in our personal lifestyle over the next five years. We would not change homes or cars, and we would keep the same game. We would put all the money away that you want to put away without having to up the standard, meaning… two bags, not nine. QUESTION What are you willing to do in order to be able to put money away? Communication Challenge: Have some conversations with your spouse about the game of money: making, growing, keeping, and leveraging money. Date Night Topic: If the money were to suddenly stop coming in, how long would you be able to live your current lifestyle without changing anything? Quote of the Week: “This podcast isn’t about having all the answers for you but rather a conversation where we’re in a place of figuring shit out as we go.” — Garrett J White “When I’m seventy years old, I want us to be working because we’re passionate about it, and we are choosing to – we have a purpose behind it – not to just pay the fucking bills.” — Danielle K White

Point #1: What is a Stack? A Stack is a series of questions with five variations (Mega, Angry, Happy, Gratitude, Production) that Garrett originally created three years ago to deal with “my fucking rage.” These questions alter the way you are experiencing different relationships, events, and triggers in your life. One of the challenges men have is the inability to express emotion and end up suppressing those emotions, which is the way society has taught, trained and educated men to do over the past 100 years. The whole point of the Stack is to allow you to release the energy that you’re feeling, whether you’re fucking raging, angry, triggered, or happy and get someone to their truth. QUESTION As a man, what has been your experience with sharing your emotions and feelings?   Point #2: Impact There are five different Stacks which serve different purposes. You’ve got the Mega and Angry Stack which allow you to release your rage & emotions, followed by the Happy and Gratitude Stacks, and then finally the Production or War Stack.. The Gratitude Stack requires you to deliberately pause and look back and serves as a powerful tool of connection with your spouse and children. As Garrett has shared these with his children as part of the Core 4 game, he has witnessed first-hand the immense impact it has had on them individually and upon their relationship. QUESTION How has expressing gratitude for your spouse and children affected your relationship with them?   Point #3:  The Gift of Gratitude Danielle shares how expressing gratitude gives you a different perspective.”There are going to be times in your life when you feel like you are in a dark place, and it’s hard to snap out of that. You start to see the world through a negative lens.” “If you take a step back and begin appreciating the good moments, it gives you this sense of gratitude, and everything begins to change. It puts life in a different perspective.” QUESTION What do you notice when you step back and begin seeing life through the lens of gratitude ?   Point #4: INSPIRED From his Gratitude Stack about Danielle, Garrett received insights and revelations about their marriage, and how he feels about her: “Marital and mutual respect is something that takes a long time to uncover, and once it’s found, it’s priceless and profound.” “I sit and look at my wife while five months pregnant and am just inspired. I’m inspired by what it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with a little person inside of you who is growing. But of all the things that hits home the most is that she can make the baby AND also smash the shit out of life.” QUESTION What about your spouse inspires you?   Point #5: From Then to Now Garrett: What makes this pregnancy different from the others is that I am grateful for what we’ve become as a couple. In the past, I isolated myself and didn’t know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. Danielle: When you look back to how it was eight years ago with our last pregnancy during scary and uncertain times, things are so different this time. We know we’re in a good place right now with life and with marriage, and we’re excited about the next chapter. QUESTION As you step back and look where you’ve been compared to where you are now, what has changed? Communication Challenge: Discuss the art of collision and the ability to hold space for your spouse during intense & direct conversations. Date Night Topic: Make Gratitude the topic of your next Date Night. Share examples and stories of gratitude with each other. If you have access to the Gratitude Stack, do a Stack on each other and then share it during your date. Quote of the Week: “Gratitude is the ability to look back: here’s where we are, here’s where we were, and let’s be grateful for what is.” — Garrett J White “When you’re in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. Use it as a protective shield for yourself and your family, and to ultimately feel more powerful in life. When I’m in that space, I feel unstoppable.” — Danielle K White