DATE YOUR WIFE

Welcome to a brand new episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast! The White’s are back after the recent birth of baby Isla, and in classic White style, share stories and details of their birth experience. As a bonus, we get a recommendation from Garrett for his new favorite breakfast burrito and a surprise prediction.   Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Change of Plans In the final weeks leading up to baby Isla’s birth, Danielle began experiencing some health issues, which ultimately led to an early inducement and delivery. “I always had this intuitive feeling that she would come a little early.” Danielle had considered doing a natural birth due to the not so great experiences with epidurals during her previous two births. But with the Pitocin speeding up and magnifying the contractions, she opted for an epidural at the eleventh hour. However, it only reached mid-thigh, which made it possible for Danielle to feel the intense pain and ebb & flow of each contraction. QUESTION What types of births have you and your spouse experienced?   Point #2: ISLA Hand-tied Hairline With 48 hours to come up with a name for her new hand-tied hairline, Danielle decided to name it after their daughter, Isla. “Most people think we named the baby after the hairline, but it was the other way around.” “It was so ironic that Isla came out with this super amazing hair that’s super thick, platinum blonde. It’s so cute! She’s so teeny and has the full head of hair!” QUESTION Were your babies born with or without hair? Point #3: Skin-to-Skin Garrett is celebrating the fact that he did not pass out as he did with their second baby. “I stood there like a champion holding Danielle’s left leg throughout labor. She didn’t even know I was in the room, yet there I was holding the left leg amidst the most intense, fierce pushing I have seen from my wife.” “Watching my wife naturally go through contractions was a new experience for me, not to mention the experience immediately following the birth. Instead of the nurses whisking Isla away, the doctor held Isla in front of me and said, “Congratulations, dad. kiss her. He then placed Isla on Danielle's bare chest."   QUESTION What has changed with the births of each of your babies?   Point #4: Grand Production Danielle is recovering really well and has to remind herself to take it easy. “I love the newborn, snuggly phase, but I also love staying busy and active. I’m trying to soak it all in because I know how fast it goes.” It’s been eight years since their last birth and one of the things Danielle had forgotten about which is causing some frustration is how long it takes to get out of the house with a newborn, and how big of a production it is. QUESTION What is your favorite “baby stage?”   Point #5: Another Baby in the Forecast? When asked by Garrett if there was another baby in their future, Danielle replied, “I don’t want to commit. Don’t get snipped on me or anything, but I can’t commit to closing the door AND I can’t commit to having another baby either.” Garrett: Before Baby Isla came out, Danielle said, “I’m done.” But mark my words. By the time Isla is about six years old,  Danielle’s going to want a secondary friend for Isla. My prediction is, Danielle has another baby at age 40.” QUESTION When did you know it was time to have another baby or when it was time to stop? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about the different types of birth options available. Date Night Topic: “To have more or not to have more, that is the question.” In a twist from a classic Shakespearian line, what are your thoughts about adding family members? How do you come to an agreement? Quote of the Week: “To sit and look at my daughter on my wife’s chest was amazing! And getting to kiss her right away was amazing! It was so much more intimate, so much more spiritual, so much more connected than any of the other three children’s births.” – Garrett J White “I don’t commit to a lot because once I do, I’m 120% in; this WILL go down. When I commit, I know I’m going to follow through 100%.” — Danielle K White

Communication is the topic in this week’s Date Your Wife episode where Danielle and Garrett discuss growth, conflict & collision, and how we all take on different characters and play different roles in our relationships. Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Activate the Gremlin Danielle is the owner of DKW Styling Salon and has created a hair extension system called Natural Beaded Rows. She and her team are basking in the afterglow of their most recent three-day convention, where they hosted 350 students eager to learn Danielle’s system. Garrett : A comment came in from an associate of ours who was at the convention. “You know, Danielle is like a gremlin – cuddly, nice, sweet, and fun. And when you pour a little water on it and out comes the beast. I watched Danielle speak and train as I have never before seen her. Her Gremlin was activated.” QUESTION What causes the Gremlin in you to activate?   Point #2: Characters & Roles Garrett:  As human beings, we take on many different roles and characters. Inside of marriage, we are required to create and master a diverse number of them. Danielle:   In business, a true professional knows when to use each character in the different roles they are required to take on. As women, we have to know when to wear the work hat, when to wear the mom hat, and when to wear the wife and lover hat. QUESTION What are the different characters and roles you take on in your marriage? Point #3: Growing At Different Speeds Danielle:  When we lost everything, and Garrett was trying to discover himself, I was always telling him, “just figure it out.” He would want to share and connect with me, and when I didn’t want to, he felt I wasn’t growing. I decided I wasn’t going to worry about what Garrett was doing, but instead, work on myself and stay in my own lane. Garrett:  We grow at different speeds and at different times. This changes our roles and makes communication difficult. The challenge becomes staying in your own lane. When you’re trying to communicate, and you’re both in two totally different places, it can be challenging. QUESTION How do you handle growing at different speeds within your marriage?   Point #4: Choice vs Force Garrett:  I got to the point where my power and my path were going to be about choosing me and choosing the path that I wanted -and inviting Danielle to come along with me. “This is where I’m going. I would like you to come with me, but if you don’t want to come, that’s okay, I’m still going to go.” The more I took that stand, the better our communication became inside of our relationship. Danielle:  I felt so much better when it became more about me getting to choose rather than feeling like you were forcing or dragging me. If you go to an event that’s all about self-help or self-awareness, you don’t want to come home to your spouse and say, “By the way, you’re broken, and you should probably come with me and get fixed.”  QUESTION Are you more likely to force or to encourage choice in your relationships? Point #5: The Control Factor Garrett : I’ll have you consider that the worst thing that could ever exist inside of a relationship is where there is no collision in communication. Collision must happen, and inside of that, control must, at times, be surrendered. Danielle:  To ultimately get what you want, you have to choose your battles. Sometimes when we’re fighting, and realize we’re on the same team, we let it go, calm it down, and then revisit that conversation at a later time. QUESTION How do you handle collision in your relationship? Communication Challenge: How do you handle and resolve conflict in your marriage? Date Night Topic: What are you committed to as a couple in the area of growth? Quote of the Week: “When you’re growing, and your partner may not be growing at the same speed, you have to stay committed to what you want, move forward, and invite them into the picture.” — Garrett J White “Learn how to communicate with your partner in that safe zone.” — Danielle K White  

In this new and refreshing episode of the “Podcast by the Pool” aka the Date Your Wife podcast, today’s topic comes as a result of a recent comment posted in response to a marketing piece on Garrett’s social media and sparks an important conversation about taking ownership of where you are in life…no matter where that is. We also get a little pregnancy update as the White’s enter the final stretch. To see what Garrett and Danielle are up to professionally, be sure to check out dkwstyling.com or betheman.com. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….Communication Point #1: Own It A recent comment on Garrett’s social media prompted today’s topic of serving and playing at your level, no matter what it is, and not be ashamed of where you’re at, regardless of where that is. You see people with money trying to hide and play humble, and then you have others who don’t have things on lockdown but pretend that they do. It’s the inability to own where you are at any given time. Garrett: Look at the crazy dynamic of this. In your relationship, you’re not where you want to be, so you lie to everyone about where you are, pretending you’re something you ‘re not. Then, you get somewhere that’s legit, and you feel weird about being there, so you lie about where you are and try to downplay it. QUESTION Where in your world do you pretend to be something or someone you’re not?   Point #2: Lambo Be Gone Garrett has had conversations with about five businessmen who have bought a Lamborghini because it’s always been something they’ve wanted. But once they had it, they felt so uncomfortable about what people were saying to them and the attention they were drawing that they ended up selling their car. Garrett: So you get to a place where you’ve created the success and produced something inside of your world, but then you start apologizing for it. You’re at the bottom and trying to up-play; you’re at the top and trying to downplay. When the fuck are you going to accept who you are? QUESTION As you look inside your world, where do you tend to make decisions based on other people’s opinions about you rather than having confidence in your own choices? Point #3: Just the Facts The White’s have experienced both ends of the spectrum, both in their finances and in their marriage. Inside of being at the bottom end of the spectrum, it’s difficult to own where you are and to be honest about it. Garrett: Your greatest access to power inside of yourself and inside of marriage is to actually be honest about where you are. But the vast majority of society right now is filled with this idea that you can’t be ok with where you are, and that you have to constantly pose yourself to be something that you’re not. QUESTION When is the last time you were truly honest about the facts of your life?   Point #4: Sexual Desert Garrett: At 43, I’m at a different level. I’m more mature and I’ve learned to deal with myself in a totally different way than the previous pregnancies. But…I’m getting a little nervous. We’ve created a new routine that is obviously warranted because of the baby, but I get nervous as a guy. What if it (our sexual life) never comes back? Danielle: Pregnancy and sex are awkward for both the guys and the girls. When you’re pregnant, you literally have another human growing inside of you and you’re kind of operating at 65% capacity. You’re trying to be sexy, but everything is more awkward. I’m not really concerned about the next chapter once I’ve recovered and healed…and I’m excited to be back to myself again! QUESTION How have you and your spouse handled the ‘sexual desert’ during pregnancies? Point #5: Taking Risks Garrett: There’s a piece inside all of us that has to make a decision, and it’s a decision that has to be made every day – several times a day. It’s a decision to rise and to build. But most individuals and couples aren’t willing to take the risks necessary. You’ve got to be willing to take a risk. And the first risk you’ve got to take is being honest with yourself. Danielle: You have to get a little uncomfortable. You have to be willing to change or do something different. And some of those things might not be for you but for your man – and he’s going to have to cross the table and do the same thing for you. It might not be something you normally would do but ultimately, it will serve you both and strengthen your relationship. QUESTION When was the last time you took a risk as both an individual and as a couple? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about taking risks and what that looks like for you inside your marriage. Date Night Topic: How to navigate the Sexual Desert during pregnancy is this week’s Date Night topic. Bounce ideas off each other and truly get honest with how you each feel. Quote of the Week: “If a couple doesn’t get divorced legally, there’s a separation and divorce that has to happen spiritually with people as they start to shift and change. Your marriage – the way it is – has to die in order for it to become the marriage you want it to be.” — Garrett J White “Who’s the poser? Is it the person down-playing or the person up-playing? Is it the person pretending to have what they don’t have, or the person with a shit ton of money pretending that they don’t?” — Danielle K White

Today’s conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship.  *This is a previously aired episode from April 2018. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, there’s a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you. Generally, women want to be taken care of. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he’s the one producing. QUESTION Does this ring true for you as a couple? Point #2: Money is a Tool Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. It  allows  you to do so much shit as a couple  or  it constrains you to do so much shit as a couple. We have friends who celebrate their success and use it as a tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they’re broke. Danielle: There was a period of about five years where we were experiencing rapid growth and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I’ve come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone  – it’s just a matter of  me  being comfortable with  me. QUESTION Are you living in a scarcity mindset while being surrounded by your wealth? Point #3: You Must Leap In 2009 after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance and something in my soul said, “You must fucking leap!” Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew what he was capable of doing and becoming so much more. QUESTION Where in your life have you settled? Point #4: Don’t Settle Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. My wife helped me see that being driven by the money is  not  about being driven by the money. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, inside of that place it forces you to become a new man. Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there are consequences; but if I just stay in the safe zone, then I can just ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it. QUESTION Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith? Point #5: Team Work Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me. Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way. QUESTION What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other’s growth? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation as a couple and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off? Date Night Topic: Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life. Quote of the Week: “My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that we use money production as a way to accelerate that.” — Garrett J White   “Be you at every level.” — Danielle K White  

The White’s have a conversation about the last stages of pregnancy and feedback inside of marriage. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Am I Really Waddling That Much? With four weeks to go until the arrival of baby Isla (at the time of this recording), the White’s have entered the home stretch…and Danielle’s really feeling it. “These last three to four weeks seem like a lifetime and I am literally counting the days.” On their recent dinner & movie Date Night, an older man took one look at Danielle and remarked, “Wow! Are you due any day? Don’t have the baby in the theater!” She has a few choice words for people who make comments to pregnant ladies when they are obviously close to delivery: fuck off! QUESTION Ladies, what are some of the things people asked you when you were in the pregnancy home stretch? Point #2: Guys Are Clueless When it comes to pregnancy, guys are pretty much clueless and clearly, they don’t know what to say when they see a pregnant lady. “I think guys are just trying to say something nice or funny when they make a remark like “don’t have the baby in the theatre.” Danielle: The only thing you can say to a pregnant girl is, “How are you feeling? Looks great, you’re almost there. That’s appropriate.” Garrett tries to be supportive but he looks at Danielle with concerned eyes, a furrowed brow, and a face that says “Oh, that looks so awful…are you ok?” QUESTION Men, how do you support your wife when she’s pregnant? Point #3: Erection in the Desert This pregnancy adventure has opened up the way for the White’s to have a conversation about bringing two books to the marketplace with working titles Etiquette For a Pregnant Lady, and What to Expect When You’re Expecting – Penis Edition. Garrett: “The more I talk about this topic, the more I believe that this is the window. If I was ever going to do it, it’s gotta happen now because I believe this will be our last baby.” According to Danielle, Garrett’s would be a four-page book. But Garrett begs to differ. QUESTION Ladies, what are some of the things your husband has had to sacrifice during your pregnancies Point #4: Snoogle, Belly Edition During sex, Garrett says he’s been sucking in his abs to make room for the baby, something Danielle has been noticing and thinks is really weird. Garrett sees it as “I’m offering support like a Snoogle, belly edition, while you’re having sex with me.” During the last several weeks of pregnancy, a lot of men think that having sex falls into this weird, awkward, extraterrestrial territory. They’re trying not to hurt the baby (even though that is absolutely not possible), and they also want to create a comfortable space for their wives. But it usually backfires. QUESTION How do you and your spouse handle sex during the final few weeks of pregnancy? Point #5: Balls of Steel According to Garrett, a wife is one of the few people in a man’s life who can speak to a man in a way that no one else can. “They have all the data and so they can jab straight into a guy’s balls. What’s gotta happen over time is that your balls have to become steel. She’s refining you and getting you to a place of power.” Danielle: “My intent is never to go after the jugular or land a straight shot to the balls; it’s more out of wanting to help Garrett. Yet a lot of times, I’ll be missing all the facts and details and will state my opinion which can come across as a naggy know-it-all or as an attack on Garrett, which isn’t my intent.” QUESTION What is the state of communication with your spouse? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about feedback inside of your marriage. Date Night Topic: What have been the conditions and results from light bulb moments or major shifts inside of your marriage? Quote of the Week: “Part of the role that your wife plays in your life is the ability to be the “critical bitch.” Her job is to criticize and your job is to reframe criticism into a place of hey listen, my wife is simply jabbing at the king to wake the fuck up.” — Garrett J White “ I think you have to come to this place inside of your marriage where you can take something that is meant to nag or antagonize you, and flip it so it becomes beneficial rather than something that will destroy.” — Danielle K White