The BPD Bunch

Have you ever gotten so angry that you knew you were making things worse, and still couldn’t seem to stop?In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Mo, Raf, Georgette, Katja, and Justin get honest about what it took to change their relationship with BPD rage and hostility. From explosive arguments and pushing loved ones away to learning how to walk away before things escalate, the cast shares what actually helped them respond differently.They also discuss the emotions hiding underneath their anger, why calming down can feel impossible in the moment, and how even small changes in behavior can make a huge difference.In this episode:* BPD rage and explosive anger* How to stop lashing out at loved ones* BPD anger and relationship problems* Emotional dysregulation and anger urges* DBT skills for anger and distress tolerance* Taking space during arguments* Sadness, rejection, and fear underneath anger* Learning to manage hostility in BPD recoveryIf you’ve ever looked back at something you said in anger and wished you could take it back, this conversation is for you._____This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 here: https://youtu.be/MD3kL0yQAYUWatch part 2 here: https://youtu.be/KtVhStCqH1A___Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference!🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Have you ever been so angry at someone that hurting them felt completely justified?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, Mo, Raf, Georgette, Katja, and Justin get brutally honest about their experiences with BPD and hostility. From holding grudges for years to deliberately targeting someone’s insecurities, they share the behaviors they once defended and the damage those behaviors caused.
They also explore what was happening underneath the anger, including shame, fear, perceived rejection, and the belief that they were protecting themselves or someone else. Sometimes the hardest part of looking back is realizing that being hurt didn’t make every reaction justified.
In this episode, we discuss:
BPD and hostility
BPD rage and intense anger
Holding grudges and long-lasting resentment
Shame turning into anger
Verbal aggression and hurting loved ones
Splitting and perceived hostility
Passive-aggressive behavior in relationships
Justifying harmful behavior when emotionally dysregulated

If you’ve ever looked back at something you did in anger and wondered how you convinced yourself it was okay, this conversation is for you._____This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 hereWatch part 2 here___Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference!🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Understanding why you behave a certain way doesn’t always mean you know how to change it.

In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie sits down with Bob Drozek, director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) Clinic at McLean Hospital, to explore how MBT helps people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) better understand their thoughts, emotions, and relationships.

They discuss what mentalization actually means, why intense emotions can make it harder to consider other perspectives, and how MBT differs from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

Xannie also shares how trying to understand the origins of her own BPD sometimes became a way to explain away behaviors rather than work toward changing them.

In this episode:
​What mentalization is and why it can be difficult with BPD
​How MBT works and how it differs from DBT
​Understanding the feelings and needs underneath our reactions
​How MBT approaches identity, shame, and dissociation
​Why knowing the reasons behind a behavior doesn’t always change it
​How therapists help people explore their own mental states
​What MBT can offer people working toward BPD recovery.

Whether you’re exploring treatment options, trying to understand your own reactions, or supporting someone with BPD, we hope this conversation gives you a useful introduction to MBT and a different way to think about change.

Buy the book:
https://amzn.to/4hTJej0
(As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. If you click on the links below and buy a product, we receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting the show!)

Worksheets and handouts for the book:
https://global.oup.com/booksites/content/9780198916857/

Mentalization Coach app:
https://www.resiliens.com/en/mentalization-coach

Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference!
Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch

Disclaimer:Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

What does it actually take to stop taking risks when they’ve become your way of coping?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, André, Georgette, Melanie, Justin, and Dan talk about what has actually helped them manage risk-taking and impulsive behavior with BPD. From delaying purchases and putting roadblocks around spending to writing the angry email without actually sending it, they share the practical ways they’ve learned to create space between an urge and an action.
They also get into the harder part: tolerating uncomfortable emotions, recognizing when “fun” is actually a pattern that keeps ending badly, relying on other people, and learning that struggling with an urge doesn’t mean the work isn’t working.
Topics include:
* BPD and risk-taking
* BPD and impulsivity
* Impulsive spending
* Acting on intense emotions
* Substance use and risky behavior
* Sitting with uncomfortable emotions
* DBT skills and wise mind
* BPD recovery and behavior change
If you know the consequences and still struggle to stop yourself in the moment, this conversation gets into what can happen between “I want to do this” and actually doing it._____This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 here: https://youtu.be/MD3kL0yQAYUWatch part 2 here: https://youtu.be/KtVhStCqH1A___Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference!🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Have you ever known something could end badly and still felt like the risk barely mattered in the moment?
In this episode of The BPD Bunch, Xannie, André, Georgette, Melanie, Justin, and Dan get brutally honest about how risk-taking showed up in their lives with BPD. They share experiences with drugs, sex, unsafe situations, reckless driving, impulsive spending, validation seeking, and choices that made perfect sense in the moment and looked completely different afterward.
They also dig into what was happening underneath those choices: chasing immediate relief, escaping painful emotions, wanting acceptance, feeling invincible, and sometimes simply not caring enough about themselves to think about what could happen next.
Topics include:
* BPD and risk-taking
* BPD and impulsivity
* Drugs and substance use
* Sexual risk-taking
* Reckless driving
* Impulsive spending
* Instant gratification and dopamine
* Self-destructive behavior and BPD
If you’ve ever looked back at something you did and thought, “How did that not feel dangerous to me at the time?” this conversation is for you._____This season, we’re discussing BPD through the lens of the Alternative Model of Personality Disorders (AMPD). To meet criteria for BPD in this model, a person must have difficulties in at least two areas of personality functioning (Criterion A): identity, self direction, empathy, or intimacy, along with four or more pathological personality traits (Criterion B): emotional lability, anxiousness, separation insecurity, and depressivity (which are sub-traits of negative affectivity), impulsivity and risk taking (sub-traits of disinhibition), and hostility (a sub-trait of antagonism).In the first two episodes of the season, Dr. Carla Sharp, Dr. Frank Yeomans, and Dr. Alex Stein explain what the AMPD is, how it changes from the current categorical model, and how the BPD diagnosis is changing. In case you missed it, here are the links:Watch part 1 here: https://youtu.be/MD3kL0yQAYUWatch part 2 here: https://youtu.be/KtVhStCqH1A___Love what we do? Your support fuels these important conversations on BPD and mental health. Consider joining our Patreon community to help us continue this valuable work and unlock exclusive content. Every contribution makes a difference!🔗 Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebpdbunch ________About Us: The BPD bunch is a YouTube talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!________Disclaimer:This video is for education only and is not meant to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.