The Psychology of Relationships

Most of us grow up believing love should feel effortless if we meet the “right” person. But many of the relationship stories we absorb through romcoms and pop culture don’t actually reflect how healthy relationships work. Relationship scientists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel join Julie & Yue to unpack what movies get right—and wrong—about attraction, compatibility, and long-term connection. Together, they explore the myths shaping modern relationships and what science says actually creates lasting love.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What romcoms get wrong about compatibility and attraction
Why “the spark” isn’t always a reliable predictor of long-term success
How modern expectations may be hurting relationships
What relationship science says actually builds lasting love
Why healthy relationships are often less effortless than we expect

To learn more about Paul Eastwick, follow him @paulweastwick and visit https://pauleastwick.com/. To learn more about Eli Finkel, follow him @elfinkel and visit elifinkel.com.

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Communication is often called the foundation of healthy relationships—but most people were never actually taught how to communicate effectively when emotions run high. Sandy Weiner, relationship coach, author, and host of The Last First Date Radio podcast, joins Julie & Yue to explore the four communication archetypes and what they reveal about the way we handle conflict, emotional triggers, and connection. She explains why communication patterns are often tied to nervous system responses, attachment styles, and past relationship experiences—and how healthier communication can be learned through awareness and practice.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The four communication archetypes and how to identify yours
Why conflict can feel so emotionally triggering
How attachment patterns shape communication under stress
Ways to express needs without aggression or withdrawal
How to become a more effective and emotionally aware communicator

To learn more about Sandy Weiner, follow her @lastfirstdate1 and visit lastfirstdate.com

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The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love, joins Julie & Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns influence the way we connect, and how mindfulness can help us recognize these shifts before they quietly shape our relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why different versions of yourself show up in relationships
How trauma and past experiences shape connection
The role mindfulness plays in dating and communication
How protective behaviors can create disconnection
Ways to bring more awareness and authenticity into relationships

To learn more about Lair Torrent, follow him @lairtorrentholistictherapist and visit https://www.lairtorrent.com

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com
* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes using talkiatry.com/POR
* The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences in relationships—but the psychology behind why people cheat is often far more complex than betrayal alone. Dr. Nicolle Zapien, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, joins Julie & Yue to unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological factors that can lead to infidelity. Together, they explore what cheating reveals about attachment, unmet needs, emotional disconnection, and personal responsibility, along with the difficult question many couples face afterward: can trust truly be rebuilt?
In this episode, you’ll learn:
The most common psychological drivers behind infidelity
Why some people may be more prone to cheating patterns
How unmet needs and emotional disconnection play a role
What rebuilding trust after betrayal actually requires
How to determine whether reconciliation is possible

To learn more about Dr. Nicolle Zapien visit https://www.drzapien.com/

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Love can make us believe that if the feelings are strong enough, everything else will work itself out. But lasting relationships require more than chemistry or attraction. Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* and Love Is Not Enough, joins Julie & Yue to unpack why people stay stuck in situationships, chase unavailable partners, or settle for relationships that no longer serve them. He explains why compatibility matters just as much as passion, how emotional patterns keep us repeating the same cycles, and why healthy relationships require both emotional connection and practical alignment.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why love alone doesn’t guarantee a healthy relationship
How compatibility differs from chemistry and attraction
Why people stay stuck in unhealthy relationship dynamics
The role emotional patterns play in repeating cycles
How to approach relationships with both heart and clarity

To learn more about Mark Manson, follow him @markmanson and visit markmanson.net

Want to feel more connected to your partner? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/PORSHOW

Our Sponsors:
* Get Behind Closed Doors wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code POR at ruggable.com
* Talkiatry: Get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes using talkiatry.com/POR
* The Throne of Broken Gods: Go get the book wherever books are sold or through https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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