The Psychology of Relationships

We talk a lot about love, commitment, and compatibility—but there’s one quieter factor that determines whether a relationship can truly thrive: emotional availability. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with Connor Beaton, founder of ManTalks and author of Men’s Work, to explore why some people can hold space for your emotions and connect deeply, while others seem emotionally out of reach—even when they’re right next to you. Drawing from attachment theory, emotional regulation, and decades of coaching experience, Connor explains how emotional safety is built, why vulnerability falters without it, and what it takes to cultivate real intimacy in modern relationships.In this episode, you’ll learn: • What Emotional Availability Really Is—and Why It Matters • How Attachment Patterns Shape Your Ability to Connect • Why Emotional Safety Is the Foundation for Vulnerability • How to Recognize When a Partner Is Emotionally Present—or Not • Practical Tools to Increase Your Own Emotional Availability • How Self-Leadership and Emotional Intelligence Support Deeper Relationships • Why Facing Your Shadow Can Transform How You Show Up for LoveTo learn more about Connor Beaton: follow @mantalks and visit https://connorbeaton.com

Many of us hold onto the belief that “once I’m in a relationship… then I’ll finally be happy.” But while love can absolutely bring joy, it can’t replace the inner work of building our own happiness baseline. In this episode, Julie and Yue talk with celebrity happiness coach and positive psychology expert Rob Mack about why lasting happiness starts within—not after you meet the right person. Drawing on research like the Michigan State study showing marriage increases happiness by less than one percent, Rob explains why real love thrives when two people come together already full, grounded in their own worth —and how couples support each other, not complete each other.In this episode, you’ll learn:• Why Happiness Isn’t Delivered After Love—It Starts With You• How Hedonic Adaptation Lowers the High of Major Life Moments• How to Build a Sustainable Happiness Baseline Through Self-Worth• Why Some Relationships Drain You—and How to Walk Away With Clarity• How to Choose a Partner Who Supports Your Wellbeing (Without Relying on Them for It)• How to Create Interdependence—Not Dependence—in Your Relationship• Why Two People Who Are Already Full Build the Strongest, Healthiest LoveTo learn more about Rob Mack: follow @robmackofficial and visit https://www.coachrobmack.com

It’s easy to feel steady in love—until you and your partner aren’t moving at the same pace. When one person is ready for the next step and the other isn’t, even the healthiest relationships can start to feel uncertain. Julie and Yue sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Alexandra Solomon to unpack what’s really happening beneath pace discrepancies. Drawing from her groundbreaking work on relational self-awareness, Dr. Solomon explains why mismatched timing activates attachment patterns, old schemas, and deep questions about worthiness—and how couples can navigate these moments without spiraling into fear, pressure, or ultimatums.In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why Pace Discrepancies Trigger Attachment, Anxiety, and Self-Doubt • How Your Past Bonds Influence the Meaning You Make in These Moments • How to Communicate Needs and Hopes Without Issuing an Ultimatum • How to Tell the Difference Between a Temporary Pause and a Fundamental Misalignment • Why One Partner Often Moves Faster (or Slower) — and What That Reveals About Their Inner World • How to Stay Connected, Curious, and Compassionate Through Mismatched Timing • When to Keep Moving Forward Together — and When It Might Be Time to Walk AwayTo learn more about Dr. Solomon: follow @dr.alexandra.solomon, listen to Reimagining Love, and read her books Loving Bravely, Taking Sexy Back, and Love Every Day.

Love grows when you do. We talk a lot about how to find love and how to keep it, but not nearly enough about how to grow inside it. Because real love isn’t just a feeling — it’s a skill. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with New York Times bestselling author Diego Perez (better known as Yung Pueblo) to explore how self-awareness, attachment, and emotional regulation shape the way we show up in relationships. Drawing from mindfulness and modern psychology, he breaks down how our pasts wire us, how our unhealed parts seek safety, and why growth — not perfection — is what truly strengthens intimacy.In this episode, you’ll learn: • How to Build Self-Awareness That Strengthens Your Relationship • Why Attachment and Nervous System Patterns Shape the Way You Love • How to Regulate Emotions During Triggering or Tense Moments • Ways to Separate Past Wounds From Present Dynamics • How to Make More Conscious, Intentional Choices in How You Love • Why Couples Grow Together Through Repair, Not Perfection • How to Practice Accountability That Deepens IntimacyTo learn more about Yung Pueblo: follow @yung_pueblo and visit: https://yungpueblo.com/

When love feels hard, it’s easy to forget why we chose it in the first place. But remembering why we love—and what drives our need for connection—is often what helps us stay grounded. In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin to explore what biology, psychology, and evolution can teach us about the most deeply human experience we have. Drawing from two decades of research, Dr. Machin reveals how our earliest attachments, neurochemical patterns, and evolutionary instincts shape how we love, who we choose, and why connection is so essential to our wellbeing. In this episode, you’ll learn:How Evolution and Early Attachment Form Your Blueprint for LoveHow Brain Chemistry Drives Attraction, Bonding, and Long-Term ConnectionHow Different Forms of Love—Romantic, Familial, Queer, Platonic, Polyamorous—Function in the BrainWhy Love Can Feel Addictive—and the Psychology Behind Coercive or Unhealthy DynamicsHow to Make More Conscious, Intentional Choices in How You LoveWhy Love Is the Single Most Important Factor in Human Health and MeaningTo learn more about Dr Anna Machin: follow @dr_amachin and visit: https://annamachin.com/